A guide to the Yorkshire Dales - the jewel in the crown of Northern England

John Hirst reflects on the Yorkshire Dales:

A guide to the Yorkshire Dales - the jewel in the crown of Northern England

"The Yorkshire Dales is a region in the county of North Yorkshire in England. The Yorkshire Dales contains some of the most spectacular scenery on (and under) God's own Earth. Once you have set foot in a Yorkshire Dale, you will be touched with a magic that will stay with you all your life, as any local will tell you".

"Welcome to
digital Malham ...

On these pages you will find information on the areas of outstanding natural beauty which surround the Yorkshire Dales village of Malham.

We encourage you to take some time out and discover some of the geological treasures that lie within".

Malham Tarn






Malam Cove







Janet's Foss

"Foss is the old norse word for a waterfall or force and Janet (or Jennet) was belived to be the queen of the local fairies who lives behind the the fall in a cave".





Gordale Scar

"To the north of the Mid Craven Fault in the Malham Formation is Gordale Scar, which was carved as a meltwater channel beneath the Devensian ice-sheet. The sides of this gorge overhang to a considerable extent, suggesting that there was once a great cavern, the roof of which has subsequently collapsed".

Stargazy Pie and how to improvise

Today, Nourishing Obscurity has a scoop.

Griselda Haveshott is a lady I met on my last trek through the west country of England in Lower Titcup, not all that far from Warminster at the local watering hole. When she told me she was the editor for practically everything at the evening newspaper, I just had to get her to guest post on this blog.

She took some persuading but here’s her first piece below without comment. Welcome, Griselda.


James has been corresponding with me for some time, I’m not sure why, and he asked me some time back to do a guest post on his blog. Well I don’t know but I said I’d give it a try if he’d edit it like so I wouldn’t look a complete twat. I write for the Greater Titcup Echo, the evening paper in Lower Titcup, down here in the west country and there’s hardly any time for my own writing, what with being the fashion editor, cricket correspondent and personal advice columnist, let alone Graeme Pollard, that’s my editor-in-chief, giving me the food and wine column as well now that Enid Barnes has left to have a baby and the twin boys are doing fine except for a slight bronchial complication with Justin, the younger by a half-head.

When I asked James what he wanted me to write on, he suggested women’s issues but I’m not the woman’s editor, that’s Bridget Proops, sister-in-law of the well-known Geraldine Proops, wife of Sir Raymond Proops the local squire round these parts although he’s sold off most of the manor and they’ve just kept up the Foss Hill house (we call it the Big House), overlooking Balsall Bridge over the Isk River. Actually, it’s just a stream really before it joins the Aster further down towards the lock but it’s quite pretty you know, the view from Squire Proops’s hill like.

I suppose the best way to open my account (my cricket writing shows out here) is to give you the recipe for Stargazy Pie. I’ve been accused by mean-spirited people of pilfering this from Jane Grigson’s Observer book of British cookery but it’s not, it’s mine, well some adjustments are mine anyway. And I never took nothing from Mrs. Beeton who’s not so pure herself when it comes to pinching ideas, is she?




Stargazy Pie

Roll out pastry for double crust pie plate. Cover the plate, brush the rim with water and roll out another piece for the lid. Keep it aside. Preheat the oven to 200 degrees C or 400 degrees F.

Clean and bone the fish …

NB: Anyone who knows the west country knows that pilchards went out long ago and now all you get is mackerel so clearly you have to compromise here. I suggest pigeons. Yes, I know, I know. You can’t get squabs anymore so the best bet is the readily available wood pigeon. Not as tasty but there you are.

Here we need to go to Mrs. Beeton (Ward Lock edition) who say lop off the heads of a brace of pigeons, cut each of ’em into four and lie ’em on their bed of gore (no, that’s Wallace, i’n it?). Well, all right. Let’s do the chopped bacon and hard-boiled eggs. Well actually, you need to lay the pigeon bits down first, making sure the heads are sticking off the edge of the plate, gazing up at the stars, I expect this dish has to be prepared at night or at the very least, mid-evening.

Push the mix in between the pigeon bits, put the pastry lid over the top, pushing it down to the pastry below so that it forms a wavy effect as if it’s all at sea, this dish like. Did I mention you have to do a pastry base first? Brush with beaten egg and bake for 30 minutes, though as it’s pigeons like well you have to give ’em 15 minutes extra at a reduced heat.

Serve with a jug of Malmsey wine. If James will have me here again, I’ll be back in a few days with advice for the lovelorn: you should see the hanky panky down our way, what with Joe Kelly and Anita Proops the younger (she’s one of the Proops, you know) but that’s a story for another day.

James, how did I go first time? I wanted to put in a photo of the quartered pigeons you know but I suppose you know best and all the pictures are from Wikipedia like.

Didn't have a photo of the pie with the heads sticking out so had to follow this idea and have a porcelain head sticking out of the middle of the pie.

Crossposted at Griselda's new site.

[gore's spin] doesn't alter the phenomenon though

Tom Paine has posted this:

Al Gore is the 21st Century's Karl Marx. His influential presentation of pseudo-scientific gobbledegook and its adoption as gospel truth by the gullible masses (of intellectuals) will kill millions of the real masses and ensure that hundreds of millions more live their whole lives in unnecessary poverty because of arrested economic development.

His ideas justify ruthless centralisation of state power on "humanitarian" grounds and are therefore irresistibly attractive to politicians of a certain ilk, who will live high on the hog behind closed doors while their subject peoples suffer and die. Stupid mug punters will fall for the spiel because it's "for a better future." It will all collapse in chaos, with only Guardian journalists and British academics still believing in it when the scales have fallen from everyone else's eyes. The parallel is exact.

Yes Tom, no argument there. The climate change issue is being used to centralize power on humanitarian grounds. Unfortunately it doesn't alter the basic phenomenon itself, which I've posted on many times. There is firm evidence at least to counter head in the sand sceptics but the best evidence is to visit Russia or other northern area and see it for yourself. Moscow is too "city" to be taken as evidence.

The point is that it does exist but has been hijacked by the Gores for political purposes, one of those purposes, I feel being to discredit the whole phenomenon, which I see has happened in most of the sphere already.

It's more complex than categorical statements would have us believe.

[adriano celentano] wild man of italian music

Adriano Celentano was, I believe, the first Italian popular singer I ever heard, long before I started studying Italian here or plagiarizing Welshcakes!

The youtube below is my favourite from the wild man of Italian pop who has attracted severe criticism over many decades for his outspoken views and antics, at the same time enjoying great adulation.

Una Rosa Pericolosa

Non provocarmi mai
non provocarmi mai
o scoppia la guerra tra noi
femminilità
son d'accordo ma
ma non marciarci sai
non distruggere
questo amore mai
è tutto ciò
che tu hai
quanti brividi dai
con quello sguardo provochi
Tu accendi i fiammiferi
che poi si spengono
e il buio ritorna
perché lo fai
ci son pericoli
che non si vedono
non sono evidenti
ti accorgi poi

Tu sei una cosa
pericolosa e preziosa
dipinta di rosa
che per il freddo non sboccia mai
nemici noi è un dolore sai
se giochi tu io non gioco più

I fuochi divampano
e accende il tuo fascino
non sai rinunciare e allora vai

Tu sei una cosa
pericolosa e preziosa
dipinta di rosa
che per il freddo non sboccia mai
nemici noi è un dolore sai
se giochi tu io non gioco più

I fuochi divampano
e accende il tuo fascino
non sai rinunciare e allora vai
oltre i limiti c'è l'ignoto sai
pensaci bene
o resti o vai
pensaci bene
o resti o vai
o resti o vai...

[velvet quiz] soft on your mind

1. The 1969 group, featuring Lou Reed and John Cale was the Velvet _____ .

2. The phenomenon whereby one is stuck in a well paid rut is known as the velvet _____ .

3. The story of the Brown girl who rides her horse to victory at the Grand National was known as _____ Velvet.

4. The art of velvet weaving probably originated in _____ .

5. Velvet's knitted counterpart is ___ .


Answers - highlight as usual:

underground, rut, national, kashmir, velour

[tennis, anyone?] tenth ball we've lost

Couldn't resist the above from Theo. Who'd be the ball boy?

Speaking of things ancient, which we weren't, Dick Madeley suggests that the:

Wormwood buttering rack, Edwardian rat-hair doormat, woodworm in French fluting and the set of wooden birthing stirrups ...

... are not necessarily an essential accompaniment to the modern bric a brac home, to which he adds:

I’m constantly amazed by the success of shows that get misty eyed over common-or-garden tat.

Well yes, Richard.

[silly season] bit of doggerel

With apologies:

Silly season, and blogging ain't easy
Fish are jumping, and our friends are high
We're far less than rich, and the news ain't worth looking
So hush dearest bloggers, don't you cry.

One of these mornings, you're gonna rise up singing
You're gonna spread your wings and take to the sky
But till that morning, there is nothing to blog on
With your readership already out on the fly

In a few days it's my blog birthday and it began in that season where the major bloggers who ordinarily run fiendish comment moderation and word verification now deign to remove them and actually make it easy for the poor reader.

It's the time when those who rely on the MSM for material reap a bitter harvest [mixing the seasons a little] and when the beach and other fine places are calling. What of the dogged blogger then - the day in-day out type who toils to attract the reader?

Here's a toast to you - to all blogfriends who perhaps lack the resources, perhaps lack the plans to visit exotic climes, who blog on and on into the starry summer night with the cicadas kicking up a din outside your window, with the humid wind buffeting their evening stroll to the pub or with those green and pleasant hills beckoning to be walked upon.

Here's to my fellow bloggers.

[top ten] political blogs to think over

Suppose the Top Ten UK Political Blogs would need to include Iain Dale, Devil's Kitchen, Mr Eugenides ... and then the thinking caps then go on as to who would fill the other spots.

Bloghounds' Donal, Steve and Andrew would be strong contenders for a start. What of our economics bloggers?

And will the Scots be allowed in?

[housekeeping] one day out

Looks like one of those paint by numbers pics but it is more likely real.

Major day in Real Life today so light blogging, hopefully later ... plus visiting.

For Bloghounders, can't process anything just now, sorry but other steering committee hopefully will.

Have a good Monday, readers.

[day at the seaside] bloody hot

Marina di Modica

Not complaining, mind.

Following on from this morning’s post, arrived home and we’d been invited to the beach for the day. This might sound like a wonderful thing but not:

1. if one’s chest is as white as an old man’s flanks;

2. if one needs to be within range of certain facilities, at this decrepit age;

3. with the temperature rising into the high thirties;

4. if it’s envisaged by our deeply tanned hosts that we’ll lie around like lobsters for a few hours on a rocky outcrop near the end of the beach.

Blowhole at the Marina di Modica

We went down to Marina di Modica and it wasn’t half bad. The sea breeze caressed us, the sailboats were out, the base of a large umbrella was stuck down a rock crevice and provided moderate shade and it didn’t feel as hot as it was.

Actually, it was a shortish time, during which I saw an old brick factory from a century ago with blowholes below it which had been used for pumped water way back when, the area where the turtles lay their eggs in season, heard the story of the landowner – the last of the aristocracy – who sometimes loses so badly at cards that he sells off tracts of land which then become developed into villages and other good things and so on and so on.

We also saw the open air theatre which was originally intended as a swimming pool but because certain measurements went awry, they decided to turn it to its current purpose instead.

The place is where the locals go and there are practically no tourists, for a number of reasons.

Firstly, when the area was finally opened up thirty years ago, Modican families built holiday homes down there and very soon the kilometre or so inland was filled up with them.

This in turn meant that large scale western development was not really possible, foreign capital, in recompense, allowed to develop areas left and right of Marina di Modica.

Another reason was that the authorities have specific foreshore bylaws which preclude such development. For example, any dwelling along the coast is not allowed to be altered in style in any way – in other words, no modern renovations.

A third reason is the lack of reliable public transport to the beach area, making it a cars only affair.

View from the balcony of the holiday house. The split level is the thing here which gives a striking effect - that and the peach and pink coloured concrete.

So anyway, it was back to our hosts’ seaside house for an extended lunch after Welshcakes' leaping around the rocks like a gazelle but the Higham pegged out after that and was soon fast asleep on a recliner on a balcony shaded by a canvas awning and umbrella.

Next thing I knew, we were on the scenic route back to Modica where Welshcakes mercilessly, with cocktail sticks, punctured a chicken she’d rolled and stuffed and another sumptuous repast is sitting in the pan ready to be deep ovened as I write and sip.

How was your Sunday?

I liked the light and shade here - the neighbour's staircase providing shade for us and our balcony providing shade for the people below

[sunday olive tree blogging] the not so ordinary life

The church bells are currently chiming across the valley, all 100 of them, calling the faithful to prayer [or is that the terminology of another religion?], I'm about to head down the shady road for a coffee and croissant, to read La Sicilia in its dead wood manifestation and Sunday has begun.

Yesterday we went down to Consorzio again and the sun was fierce along the way. It's got now so that it's too hot by about 9 a.m. and it doesn't let up until about 8.30 p.m. - "let up" meaning that the shutters can once again be thrown open across the town.

We divided responsibilities yesterday, Welshcakes and I - she would concentrate on the food photography and I'd do more of the cafe itself. We'd both commented immediately on reaching our "under the olive branch" haven that the variegated light looked almost surreal on the tablecloths. Welshcakes qualified that by saying it was more impressionist than surreal and she may well have been right.

Click on the pics and see what you think.

That white linen table cloth and napkins, the scrumptious "pranza" or repast, the service, the Moretti beer and the trees and shrubs themselves, let alone the garden furniture - all conspired to let the previous hellish week's troubles ebb away. It was in no way hot under that tree - perhaps it was warmish.

On the way back up the series of tracks and roads leading up the hill, leading to our hillside retreat, it was bloody hot. One thing which impresses here is that they can take what are virtually concrete boxes with holes in them as houses, add some balconies and walkways between buildings, set the boxes at varying angles to each other and paint them in light shades of apricot and peach and the result is the picture postcard stuff you see on good stands.

If there had been sea, you could be sure it would have been azure.

To cap off the effect, they make much use of foliage of the thicker, overhanging kind, many planter boxes and pot plants and the result is pleasing to the eye. When I mentioned to Welsh that the steep hill simply adds to the overall effect, I did not receive the glance of agreement I'd hoped for.

So, down that path again this morning and may your morning be one of great relaxation and pleasure, free of life's vicissitudes - if only for some hours.

[thought for the day] retrospective

In the light of Moody's admission of computer error:

A mediocracy does not believe in innate ability. It believes that anyone can be a philosopher, mathematician, or central bank chief — provided they have had appropriate training. A mediocracy does not believe in the value of thinking, or in individuals having innate powers of judgment. It believes in following procedures, making rules, ticking the boxes.

[Fabian Tassano]

Fabian quotes the FT:

As one senior risk manager writes ... “we did express to senior management that we lacked the analytical skills ...” (FT)

[empire class flying boat] the need for a rear deck

"Oh for the days of the roomy Empire class flying boats that actually had an (inside) promenade deck." [Gallimaufrey]

That's as may be, Gallifmaufrey ... but I still feel the need for a rear deck and railing, lovely though the promenade deck was.

[salmonella] we know why but it doesn't matter

You remember that recent salmonella outbreak, where tomatoes were blamed?

You know - where the USFDA banned them and stores pulled tomatoes from the shelves? Well, the FDA has now decided that they are fine but are still not ruling out that they might not be fine.

So why would they lift the ban if they're not sure?

However, FDA and CDC officials have not absolved tomatoes as a possible cause of the outbreak and are considering the possibility that both tomatoes and jalapeños have spread Salmonella saintpaul.

Could there be a reason for doing this prematurely?

[one year as someone else] who?

The ever-sublime Bryan Appleyard is torn:

This woman is an inspiration to us all. She is living as Oprah for one year. I am torn between living as the sublime Richard Madeley or sinking into the dark heart of Elberry.

While the first lady wasn't actually shape-shifting into Oprah, still, the principle holds water.

Who would you be for a year? Gordo? Cherie Blair? One half of the McCanns? Mugabe with his opulent monster status? The aging Bill Gates?

Yourself [perhaps with a bit more cash under the belt]?

[air safety] planes need decks and safety railings

Here's a good idea:

An allegedly drunken passenger has attempted to open an exit door of a Boeing 767 while the plane was 35,000 feet in the air.

The man was abusive to passengers and staff on the First Choice flight from Gatwick to Cuba before lunging at the door in an attempt to lift the handle.

I believe WC Fields attempted similar in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break, stepping out onto the rear deck, losing his drink over the railing and toppling after it, to land softly in a clifftop garden where a naive young nubile was well and truly surprised.

With news of airlines finding new ways to cope with rising fuel costs, there might be something in this for them.

[thought for the day] thursday evening

Z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-z

Sigh.

[good intentions] or cynical foresight

Coffee growing in Ethiopia

From Wolfie:

The road to hell is paved with good intentions they say and without a doubt large swathes of that continent are starting to do a very good impression but little do the well-meaning and generous natured here understand how much they are contributing to the continuation or indeed deepening of that hell.

On the one hand you have the multinationals plundering natural resources whilst lining the pockets of corrupt and cruel governments but on the other you have the toxic results of generations of multinational aid that has laid waste to the fabric of several African nations.

From the Independent, via Wolfie:

They are now — one way or another — virtually all giving aid to or investing in Africa, whereas Africa, with its vast savannahs and its lush pastures, is giving almost nothing to anyone, apart from AIDS.

From the Middle-East Forum, via Cassandra:

In the midst of the effort in Paris to bestow unprecedented sums of foreign aid on the Palestinians, there was little discussion of the unintended consequences — often deadly ones — of previous aid regimens. The recent history of foreign assistance shows a distinct correlation between aid and violence.

Perhaps aid itself does not cause violence, but there is strong evidence that it contributes to a culture of corruption, government malfeasance, and terrorism that has had lethal consequences for both Israelis and Palestinians over the past decade.

The most charitable thing to say is that it is sheer incompetence. The next most charitable is that it is dangerous incompetence and finally, that aid is given in the full knowledge of its consequences, under the current system of distribution and its known effects.

Wolfie and others take a hard line but stop a moment. You give 20 pounds and you think it is going to a poor child. Is it hell. Please take time to read all the related links on both sites and it is an eye-opener.

Compassion is in short supply these days but so are effective routes for aid to get to the right people.

[issues just now] posting when possible

Might be today. Might be some time.

[westminster brown] new impervious stock

Final PMQ was today. Incidentally, here is some of the new livestock with a mobile feeder.

Gallimaufry takes issue though with the portrayal of politicians as pigs.

[paranormal] another one at naseby

To believe or not to believe:

The Northampton Paranormal Group caught the figure [of a ghost in uniform] on camera during a visit to the site of the Battle of Naseby, a field between the villages of Clipston and Naseby in Northamptonshire, last month.

Scepticism is fair enough, especially when one said: “I haven’t heard anything like this at the battlefield in all my association with it. It’s fair to say I’m a bit sceptical.”

That's fair enough.

But blind scepticism like: "The effect was caused by the camera itself," makes me sigh.

Really? They conducted experiments on the photo apparatus and investigated the area, did they? Or did they just say "camera effect" as a kneejerk reaction? Anything out of the ordinary must, by definition, be false?

Well how can any of us know? I'd like to see more evidence first but it doesn't seem wise to blindly pronounce it couldn't possibly happen.

[wordless wednesday] seems to follow

[thought for the day] tuesday evening

If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism. If you steal from many, it's research.

[Wilson Mizner - 1953]

Size 42 to fit all

Size 42 to fit all

Have you ever wondered how the government arrived at the figure of 42 days?

"According to Douglas Adams, in the ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy’, the answer to the question, "What is the meaning of life and everything", was asked of Deep Thought.

Deep Thought was the "Universe's biggest, best, fastest computer", perhaps built by Microsoft. Deep Thought considered the question for a million years or so, and delivered the answer, "42"...".

[germaine greer] this blog agrees with her

That's right, you read it here - this blog agrees with Germaine Greer:

Outspoken feminist academic and writer Germaine Greer has attacked Britain for slashing a university scholarship program which has drawn hundreds of Australian students to England.

From next year, Britain will no longer fund prestigious Commonwealth scholarships for students from developed countries such as Australia, New Zealand and Canada. While the move will save about STG2 million ($A4.1 million) a year, money will still be available for students from developing Commonwealth countries.

I don't think anyone would argue that the primary assistance should be to the homegrown Brit of some talent but if there is any left over, then surely it should be available to Britain's closest allies within the Commonwealth, it's first former colonies, if you like.

After that you might cast the net over the third world. Greer is surely right in this.

[stop press] record berry season in iceland

Important news just in from Iceland Review:

It seems as if blueberries and crowberries will ripen unusually early in Iceland this year due to a warm May. The berry season normally begins in late August, but berry pickers have already spotted black and blue berries in some places this year.

“One week ago people were already eating crowberries and said they were good,” physician and berry-picking enthusiast Sveinn Rúnar Hauksson told Morgunbladid, adding that blueberries have also begin to ripen, especially in north Iceland.

The berry season ends in September as soon as the temperature drops below freezing point at night. “Now it looks as if we will have a long berry-picking season which begins about two weeks earlier than in the average summer,” Hauksson said.

Click here to watch an audio slideshow about berry-picking. Don't pass it by!

[harry's place] and the jihadi kerfuffle

All right.

Everyone has by now heard of the kerfuffle connected with Harry's Place and here is the issue in a nutshell:

1. From Cassandra;

2. From Ginro.

I don't visit Harry's Place because I was told two years ago it was ruled with a rod of iron by some shadowy figure who makes his writers toe the political line and unfortunately, the major bloggers who told me this did influence me. Maybe I should look at it again. I do remember commenting several times and not getting any response or acknowledgement whatsoever. Again, I might try to get some sort of response.

That's not really the point here though. The point is that a jihadi type wishes to stifle free speech [and the telling of what I have no doubt is the truth] by means of litigation.

Some readers will remember that my own blog was also pushed off the net on July 4th-6th by threat of litigation and I have no intention of opening that whole thing up again but it does lead one to think about such people.

I do recall a lot of personal support though from quite a few really good blogfriends plus others who were mere acquaintances and well-wishers and that was quite humbling. There is definitely a spirit of closing ranks in the sphere and that's what we should do now against ALL people who feel that litigation is the way to make their point.

If I employ the distasteful term "scumbag" for the Usmanovs of the world, then please forgive me. I can forgive and have done so. I can't forget.

Anyway, at Bloghounds, Cassandra has started the ball rolling and I join her in recommending that if you can see your way clear [we don't go for directives at Bloghounds], maybe you could run a banner of some kind [there's a BMP PNG which Blogger upload doesn't recognize and so I can't personally add it] at Cassandra's.

I'll put up something in the sidebar soon.

Is this where M3 is?

Is this where M3 is?

[thought for the day] monday

How can you govern a country with 246 varieties of cheese?

Charles de Gaulle [1962]

[papa rimski on the move] beware all evil-doers

With the weight of that staff, he could easily beat them into submission

With a newly-tuned piano at hand and a borrowed kitten for company, Pope Benedict XVI was recovering from jet-lag in Australia Monday ahead of WorldYouth Day celebrations.

Make no mistake - that kitten is there to ward off Imhotep and the whole gang of underworld nasties. The Cross, of course, speaks for itself. When Papa Rimski travels, he means business. I wouldn't want to try it on when the Pope's armed and dangerous.

Supposed to be in Australia for World Youth Day. Well, all right. Fair's fair.

But don't you think there's also a case for World Senior Cits' Day? I can see it now - all of us zooming round on our mobility scooters and the Pope in his Popemobile. Surely it's time they brought the Popemobile back.

Perhaps we could have a Black Policeman's Day as well? Just a thought.

"At 3.8 metre and 15 kilogram, you attack at your own risk."

[integrity] arnie would never go opportunistic

This is so unfair to Arnie, who would never ever cut a deal or do anything remotely ambitious:

But instead, when asked, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger seemed to suggest he would have no qualms about joining an administration run bysomeone called Barack Obama -- who, if memory serves, is the Democrat actuallyopposing the Republican man the Republican Schwarzenegger endorsed for president.

Nah - it's just another blogger speculating.

Isn't it?

[earthquakes] and other fun happenings

Cheated here - this isn't Sicily at all - it's America.

There was an article in La Sicilia yesterday [the dead wood version ]about Mt. Etna and how tourists are determined to climb it, knowing full well the dangers.

Actually, that is my reading of it in my very limited Italian – I was scouring it for meaning yesterday morning over the cappuccino and croissant at Vecchia Caffe, a counterpoint to the news that yet another tourist had been lost to the dreaded Etna.

We actually live further down the coast from there and so the question is not so much rapid lava flow but earthquakes. I was asking Welshcakes and she said there had been a bad one up north in the late 80s and various tremors all over Sicily since then.

I asked if she had experienced one and she said that yes, the walls seemed to move like the beginning of a dream sequence in a film. Wow. When I asked if she thought the Big One was therefore coming, she gave a nervous laugh and said, “I hope not.”

She continued:

“When the sky is a funny colour, not dark, not grey, perhaps ashy and it seems sort of lower than usual – that’s when the Sicilians start to panic. Raffaele apparently said to all within listening distance about him: ‘Hope we don’t all die.’ ”

Hey, I can live with that.

Welshcakes continued: “They’re very philosophical about it here. If it’s got your number on it, they say, then it’s your turn.”

Hey, I can really live with that – makes life a bit more interesting, don’t you think?

So here I sit, typing to you and waiting for the Big One. There are 100 bells in this town which will peal in a Hemming sort of way and we can all ask one another in our mad, frenetic helter skelter flight:

“Did the earth move for you?”

For those who are a little worried about us down this end, I’ll put a helpful link in the right sidebar where you can check out our earthquake or volcano danger on any given day. Actually, the chances are fairly low and from what I can gather, these are our main dangers in southern Sicily:

1. Coffee poisoning;

2. Being run over by a Vespa or Lambretta;

3. Dehydration;

4. Getting closer than 200 metres to local politics;

5. Old age;

6. Volcano;

7. Earthquake.

Touch wood.

[july 14th] not forgetting july 4th

It's the French National Day and I urge everyone, if you haven't already done so, to go down into your local village and partake of petit pain or croissants and coffee. You might even get wicked and toast Bastille Day with a fine cognac [but not before 11 a.m.]

To the Americans, I apologize for July 4th but I ... er ... didn't have a blog at the time and so thought I'd wait until today. May your sovereignty and constitution remain intact in the next few years, despite the severe assault on it from within and from outside. Stand firm, America.

[thought for the day] sunday evening

A loo with a difference

WARNING: TOILET TALK AHEAD

Definition of an excursion:

Fearful and fraught foray far from a loo

Whilst not yet exactly incontinent, nevertheless, the thought of an excursion, a day trip, fills me with dread for these reasons:

1. Inaccessibility of a Little Room;

2. Inaccessibility of water;

3. Tedium and tiredness.

It would have to be a mighty interesting and well-equipped expedition which would draw the Higham from his hermit-like existence.

And you?



Mobility GTS – the only way to go

[the idyll] and the hidden serpent

The picture above is the Caffe Consorzia where we went for lunch.

It was balmy and idyllic, not to mention the quality of the food itself. Sitting under the giant olive tree with those leaves so easy on the eyes, one could be envied - see Welshcakes' post for details of the meal we ate.

So to come home, try to set up a new Yahoo account for Bloghounds, to go through the usual first page of filling in details, press the button and then be confronted with a second page asking to provide credit card details so they can confirm our age - that was beyond the pale.

Exactly what the heck are Yahoo up to? Have you too had any problems? Try setting up a new Yahoo account.

Meanwhile, back to the coffee and croissants.

[britain] will there be one left to return to

We were watching Skynews and BBC and had the same thought simultaneously - the way Britain is portrayed there now, if it can be believed,well - what sane person would want to live there with all its PC, ethnic issues, ASBOs, stabbings everywhere, druggies, crying bereaved families and so on?

Of course, I don't trust Sky or the BBC as far as I could kick them and probably, out of the dangerous urban areas, it's quite OK but still - are you worried about living there, British readers of this blog?

And what of your economic situation? House prices, credit and mobile phone debt? Mortgages? The surveillance society? The vastly increased chance of arrest on technicalities? The situation in schools and with lost national data files left by people on trains? Is all OK with you in that green and pleasant land?

Because if not, then it seems to me it's a bit like, say, Welshcakes, Guthrum and myself zipping off years ago, on our respective starships and meeting up one day on Alpha Centauri, where the news has just come through to the big screen that the earth has blown itself up.

Oops - we're now permanent expats for the remainder of our lifetime. Even Grendel seems worried, opting to detour to Russia instead of immdeiately returning.

Just how bad is it over there now?

[doping] does sport have a chance

You have to wonder what chance sport has:

Manuel Beltrán, who rides for the Liquigas team of Italy and who is a former teammate of Lance Armstrong’s on the Discovery Channel team, tested positive for EPO after the first stage of the race. Beltrán was withdrawn under the terms of a contract that all of the teams signed with the Tour organizer.

This is not just a bleat about "oh how bad everything is these days" but a question every sportsman faces.

When weight training in Russia, one learnt who the steroids boys were [a high profile gym down the road where they were all Adonises with not an ounce of fat] and the "clean" trainers such as one at our place who always carried a certain "lining", shall we say.

He and I were chatting about competition and how he had to give it away because he just couldn't compete against the stoked up bodies in that field. No point competing if you're not going to win, they'd say. Ben Johnson would understand.

This blogger is most certainly not ant-sport - quite the opposite, in fact - and yet there doesn't seem a solution to this thing.