Friday, July 18, 2008

[air safety] planes need decks and safety railings


Here's a good idea:

An allegedly drunken passenger has attempted to open an exit door of a Boeing 767 while the plane was 35,000 feet in the air.

The man was abusive to passengers and staff on the First Choice flight from Gatwick to Cuba before lunging at the door in an attempt to lift the handle.
I believe WC Fields attempted similar in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break, stepping out onto the rear deck, losing his drink over the railing and toppling after it, to land softly in a clifftop garden where a naive young nubile was well and truly surprised.

With news of airlines finding new ways to cope with rising fuel costs, there might be something in this for them.

11 comments:

oestrebunny said...

I always think that they should stop serving alcohol on planes anyway...and trains for that matter.

Drunks and public transport don't generally mix well.

Aileni said...

Hear the girl... dead right. And ban drunk drivers for life !

TBRRob said...

They should put us to sleep on planes. Like in fifth element...

Dragonstar said...

I completely agree with Oestrebunny. But surely it wouldn't be too hard to fit safety gates to the inside of the doors. Or would that increase weight sufficiently to require taking fewer passengers and therefore fewer banknotes?

Devonshire Dumpling said...

I think all passengers should be gagged and bound to their seats.

Gallimaufry said...

Until aerodynamicists agree on how wings generate lift, and airline accountants squeeze as many people into the cabin, alcohol is a very necessary part of the travelling experience in order to sedate the passengers. Oh for the days of the roomy Empire class flying boats that actually had an (inside) promenade deck.

CherryPie said...

You would think that the doors would automatically lock when the plane was in flight. As to the abuse and drinking...

Colin Campbell said...

I completely agree with Rob.

During my long haul flying days, I was a great believer in being plied with alcohol. It was just part of coping with and numbing out the misery of the experience.

BobG said...

I don't see any reason to spend money on redundant safety devices; all that was required was for the stewardess to give the obnoxious drunk a sharp kick in the groin and tell him to sit down and shut up. Problem solved.

Reactionary Snob said...

Dear Boy,

I shall be back, for two weeks only, at Mr. Eugenides.

RS

Lord James Bigglesworth said...

Ah, thanks you for all that profound advice. Like the kick in the groin idea and yes, RS, did note it.