[jabba's brother] alisha the hutt

Do you think there's a prima facie case for deporting this alleged criminal? Then again, we'd prefer not to have him back, thanks.

[ageing] life change now

Mousie writes of the people who look after the elderly, including some [and Mousie uses far stronger language than I], who are not fit to do so.

As always, whilst we feel angry about this treatment, we also cast a glance at our own old age and shudder. There, but for the Grace … Having now lost parents and step-parent and having lost touch with any other remnants of what could be called family, you could say death or the street will remain at a distance only until the mind and body start to go.

Who knows when that will be?

Juliet runs a post on living to a hundred and I wonder why that's of interest to her. To me, I can't imagine anything worse than living that long, given that western aches and niggles set in about 50 to 60 and the deterioration of the mind follows on after that. I don't want to carry that baggage over another 40 years.

She mentions that the longest living people in the world are the Uighurs of China and she has two fascinating links you can follow. Whilst she zeroes in on their diet:

Uighur food is characterized by meat - mutton, beef, camel, chicken, goose; vegetables - carrots, tomatoes, onions, peppers, eggplants, celeries etc.; dairy foods; and various fruits ...

some other factors like "weather, environment, and people's life habits and physical quality" are also noted but there are things here which haven't been spelt out fully. One article quotes "experts" saying it is related to diet. The classic western mistake over and over again and the reason the tone in the rest of the post is a little angry.

In other words, westerners are encouraged to think that if they go over to this diet, after trying the mediterranean diet, then all will be well and they'll live longer. This conveniently glosses over the other quite real reasons they live long:

1. the physical makeup of a people long used to austerity for countless generations in a survival of the fittest scenario. This is not the average obese North American or increasingly obese Brit;

2. the mental toughness - working in the fields till 80 or 90 is more an indicator of this than of long life;

3. simplicity - no hi-tech, sedentary, door-to-door-car, hush power, all-mod-cons lifestyle but life made uncomplicated and much closer to the earth than the dislocated western societies;

4. spiritual harmony combining their Maker [whom bloggers in particular continue to insist does not exist], four or more generations of extended family and a village atmosphere of community which leads to well-being;

5. exercise - yes, exercise. Look at those hills in the picture and the answer is there - they have to walk and work;

6. nature itself - instead of little boxes bounded by concrete roads, car and industrial fumes;

7. then diet - simple, unprocessed and in season.

But to think for one second that just doing the diet bit is going to slow the march to debilitation is self-delusion. All of it has to go together in a harmonious whole. Then it doesn't matter if they eat more bread, more fried food, more of the vilified dairy products - it's all swamped by the other aspects of the lifestyle. If you want this, you can't pick some aspects and pass on others, say N4 and N5. No, all of them have to be working together in a harmonious whole.

Contrast this with today's west - increasingly godless people, enslaved to material gain, living in exceedingly unhealthy cities, more and more people lacking common decency and courtesy [you can see it immediately in the way they talk or blog], eating a fatty, salty, sugary diet and deluding themselves that a ham and salad sandwich is healthy, having lost touch with nature in a day to day context [as distinct from the Sunday ramble], living either alone or with the same sex, lacking the perseverance to make relationships work, lacking the mental toughness to survive and hankering for a faster, more convenient and more comfortable lifestyle.

Plus drinking.

Nothing wrong with drinking in its place but it must be in its place - in its context. The land in that photo is Shangri-la whilst, for me, living in a polluted city on a low salary is hell on earth. So where am I on that continuum? Possibly halfway along but there's still a long way to go before longevity becomes a desirable goal.

You'll possibly be angry with me for writing these things. Sorry.

[blogfocus saturday] taking the rest of the world to task

Never had the chance to wear one of these

Last of the three part series profiling bloggers who have either trangressed the unwritten rule or with whom I disagree. This evening it is the turn of the rest of the world:

1. Welshcakes is charged with exciting our sensibilities, with little chance of consummation:

Coming back with Simi from our walk, I suddenly "felt" that I didn't have it on any more, and, placing my hand on my neck, realised I was right. There was no sign of it as we retraced our steps, so a frantic search of jewellery box, dressing table, sides of sofa and chairs ensued. Then I "felt" something again. I looked down and there it was, inside my bra!

2. Meanwhile, Lady MacLeod is making us equally hot under the garments with her Hammanizing:

After another killer workout (I don’t know, sometimes I just get on a tear) I stripped down for the hamman thinking if it’s as good as last time that will be great. After this experience I have decided that when next someone ask me, “Why are you staying in Morocco,” the answer, “The hamman,” will suffice! Samira led me inside to the salon at the end of the hallway, so thick with steam I could not see the other walls and filled the wooden pail with warm water, then dumped it over my head and lathered me down with the black, thick, granular substance they use for soap.

3. Sean Jeating has made a grievous error speaking of G-d's wife when everyone knows, as the feminists have assured us, that G-d is a she:

Mr Ernest W. Chambers once again proves the importance of his being: The 70-year-old Senator of Nebraska (U.S.A.) sues God.

My closest friend Tetrapilotomos first reaction: "I am relieved Mr Chambers did not sue God's wife, too. The more I am looking forward to the trial. It would be interesting to see how Mrs. God manages the earthly affairs, while her husband is living behind bars in his own country."

The term "chain reaction" springs to mind.

4. I charge Maryam directly with making us green with envy about her exotic location:

And there are, ahem, other issues with this Casablanca B&B as well....The huge arrangements of fake flowers (oh why, oh why?) must go. The fountain in the entryway with no water must have a drink. The entire reception space must check into an interior design clinic for a facelift. The heavy, old fashioned draperies must be retired. The velvet and velour pillows and coverings everywhere (oh, gulp, those bedspreads) must be put away for all but a few cold months a year.

5. I'm counting Charles Robertson as non-UK rest of the world and take him to task for rank cynicism vis a vis politicians, whom we all know to be altrusitic and with the people's interests at heart:

Job cuts will only be a problem if the politicians cut the wrong ones. Unfortunately, they will be more likely to cut whole services rather than find efficiencies within them [...] Also, conveniently, cutting whole services makes better headlines. I would like to think politicians wouldn't hold public services to ransom like that, but it's hard to see what else Senator Le Sueur is doing here.

6. I challenge Cassandra, domiciled somewhere near the Mediterranean, to explain how one is "having a cold" - clearly cunningly designed to distract from the main import of her post:

Blogging will be limited the coming days. For one, I'm having a cold. But more importantly, I am playing surrogate mum to a two months old kitten called Vile Thomas Tripod. He's been hit in the street by something or other. One hind leg is broken and the nerves are severed. He's having surgery tomorrow. Number One Cat has never seen such a vile creature in her life, so a peaceful feline coexistence is probably not on the cards. I'll have to take a closer look at adoption.

7. Kizzie misunderstands the west if she thinks they're going to stop misunderstanding Africa, which they should:

There are a lot of overlooked small "good" things in Africa. When it comes to female representation in parliament, Rwanda ranks number 1. I wonder if this achievement in Rwanda is "good". Ghana remained one of the most peaceful countries in the world and the most peaceful in Africa although its neighbours are at war. Isn't Ghana a good example of a stable African country?

Wives are sometimes press-ganged into piracy.

8. Alas, dear Colin, a once noble mind, here o'erthrown:

There! That's what I think of ye. Before an hour's out, I'll stove in your old block house like a rum puncheon. Laugh, by thunder, laugh! Before an hour's out, ye'll laugh upon the other side. Them that die'll be the lucky ones. Avast belay, yo ho, heave to, and if we're parted by a shot, we're sure to meet below!

I'm sure we will, old chap and hope to meet you all too on Wednesday evening, assuming we'll not have walked the plank.

[sarko] what's wrong with this picture?

Do you see the same thing as me? Though Sarko was elected on a reform platform for French society, though the French rejected the EU Constitution, look at the blending and equal status of these flags.

[swift reactions] that gives me an idea

Jon Swift has started a nifty scheme called Swift Reactions and the idea is that he features those who comment, mention or link his site. He includes even his most inarticulate and cowardly detractors:

Lest you think I am only going to feature comments from people who agree with me, the first comment comes from my most frequent commenter, Anonymous, who writes in reference to my piece "John Kerry Goes Nucular":

"Just a bit of advice, you f---ing idiot. You might want to do a spell check before posting your moronic opinions on the web. It's spelled nuclear, buttf---!"

As always, thank you very much for your helpful comment, Anonymous.

Why can't I get abuse like that?

I'd love to give commenters or frequent visitors a bit of a mention but don't currently have any systematic way to do this. Have to give it some more thought.

By the way, check out this Larry Craig number. I'm saying nothing.

[10 000 buddhists] setting the example

Nearly 10,000 Buddhist monks marched through Myanmar's second largest city, Mandalay, on Saturday, their biggest demonstration since launching a street campaign against the ruling military junta five days ago.

Analysts said the escalating marches by monks were a sign that what began as civilian anger at shock fuel price rises last month was becoming a more deep-rooted religious movement against the military, which has ruled the former Burma in various guises since 1962.

Would that the silent Christian leadership would take an equally courageous stand against the evil junta ruling western nations now.

[russia] caviar in crisis

There's been a lot of talk on the net about Tim Ireland's demise and the naughty Russians.

Sorry but there is a far greater crisis - just what are we going to do without our fish spawn?

Beluga caviar, a symbol of ostentatious dining and luxury, costs about $US1400/kg in Moscow markets but sells for up to £3700/kg in London.

What's going to happen to those prices in the light of this?

Mr Ivanov, widely regarded as a leading contender to succeed President Vladimir Putin in 2008, said he could do without caviar if sturgeon fishing was banned.

"If we banned catches for a period of time then I would certainly survive," Mr Ivanov told an investment conference, RIA news agency reported. "We would repair our national wealth in this time after we so rapaciously annihilated it," Mr Ivanov said.

[gordon brown] david cameron, election

I'm not going to say one more word.

Not one.

They can.

[tramvai] eight roubles of entertainment

Well I seriously don't know where you could pay eight roubles anywhere in the world and have that sort of entertainment. I'm writing, of course, of simply coming home just now. Yes - tramvai time again on Friday evening. Where do I start?

Perhaps at the beginning.

The day conspired to be classic from the very beginning. It was atmospherically misty, droplets fell from the turning autumn leaves but by afternoon, the rain had set in.

To end the day I had a "pair" at the uni at 18:40 and they're my most difficult group but my definition of that might be different to yours. It's almost impossible to mount adequate defences against the charm of these eight young ladies and my theory is that this might stem from them not being city girls [they come from another town], so I let them out early because they just were being too perfect and I couldn't stand it any more. So I decided to walk down to the tramvai and thence home.

Bad move.

The streets were deluged with rain, everything was black, glistening and a lake, I pulled the black leather cap down lower and set off wading through the water until I reached the café we always used to drive to and there was a young lady I knew from three years ago, now administering the place in jaunty uniform and she laughed fit to burst when I told her I was going home by the tramvai.

Plus she had her hair tied back that way and that's not fair, in my book.

By this time the other girls had all come up in their Egyptian outfits and were vehemently joining in the conversation until other customers wondered just what was going on up at the bar. One omelette and one apple pancake and green tea later and it was time to go home and write this.

Bad move.

See what happened here.

[the nutcracker] and the art of motorcycle mayhem

Here's the revelation for today - I once danced in a production of The Nutcracker. True - I was Drosselmeyer and Clara arrived by motorcycle, brum-brumming down the central aisle, to be met by me at the stage.

I wanted to ride the bike but the owner wouldn't let me.

So it was with interest whenever I read about a production of the Nutcracker being sold out.

Especially when it is choreographed by Peter Wright [of Spycatcher fame?].

By the way, I wasn't a real ballet dancer because my equipment didn't stick out far enough beneath the cling-wrap tights. The boys showed no interest in me at all, in fact.

I could ride a motorbike though.