Friday, January 18, 2008

[lit quiz] name the authors


1. Dien Tynblo [children's stories]
2. Arlehcs Skidnec [please sir, may I have more]
3. Kranf Raridsch [Greyfriars]
4. Cahrird Smarda [Hazel and Blackberry]
5. Xirbeta Toterp [Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cotton-tail]
6. G. H. Lewsl [Martians]
7. Draydur Klinpig [if only I could think of it]
8. Milwail Aesperkhase [a complete unknown]
9. Nai Glinfem [not really Welsh, as Broccoli well knows]
10. Egroeg Lewlor [clocks were striking thirteen]



No peeking, now:


Blyton, Dickens, Richards, Adams, Potter, Wells, Kipling, the Bard, Fleming, Orwell

[quick one] wonders never cease


Just google the word "nourishing". It might only last a few minutes and I may have dropped back again by now but still, it was good while it lasted.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

[russia] vain expectations

This is the first time I've directly run a guest post from one of my Russian friends and it appears unedited below. By Dmitri Panov, the intellectual advocate [my words, not his]:

Western countries' nervous reaction to the last Russian elections is a part of the great problem of their misunderstanding of Russia. Western people are extremely stubborn in their expectations of democracy in Russia, but their hopes are always in vain.

I suppose that the reason of those expectations is a little bit funny: similarity in appearance of Russian and European people. This fact has been confusing many people for many years and even centuries – both in Russia and abroad.

But the truth is that: similarity in appearance doesn’t indicate an internal similarity. And internal difference between Russian people and Western people is not less than – for example- between Western people and Chinese or Middle Eastern peoples.

If anybody wants to check this fact he has to look at the essential events of the Russian modern history, such as, for example, lower classes revolution of 1917, atheism and existence for 90 years without real upper class . So what reasons do we have to assume that this convoluted way will lead Russia to the Western type of democracy?

The best thing for Western people is to understand finally that Russians are absolutely different and Russia has been going through the centuries by its own special way, with all pluses and minuses – like all countries in the world. Eventually the real aim of every society is justice and fairness.

And democracy per se is only one of the ways to achieve them and – according to Plato - far from being the best.

January, 2007

Go for it, readers. :)

[bond] not so bulky next time

From the interview:

Craig was asked how long he planned on staying in the role. "Until they tell me to stop", he said. "I want to get the next one right and we'll go from there.

How [is he] shaping up for his next outing as 007?

"Arrghh! I was big for the last one, and it wasn’t a mistake, it was a definite statement. This guy, when he takes his shirt off, should look like he could kill someone. After it finished, I stopped training. I got drunk for three months!

No, I didn’t, but certainly relaxed for three months and ate what I wanted, and then it’s hell because as soon as you get back in the gym, you have to work all that off, and it takes much longer than it does to put it on. Last time I did a lot of weights to bulk up because I had to do it quickly.

This time I’m going to do more boxing and more running. I need to be physically strong for Bond and, as much as I looked in great shape, I got a lot of injuries, probably due to the fact that I wasn’t doing enough running and jumping, which is what I needed to do in the film. I won’t look physically much different, but I won’t be as ‘no neck’ as I was last time."

Craig was asked how long he planned on staying in the role. "Until they tell me to stop", he said. "I want to get the next one right and we'll go from there.

Bond 22:

In November 2008, Bond 22 will see 007 fight an emotional battle after the loss of Vesper, unravel the mystery of Mr. White's shadowy organisation, and romance the sexy and charming Camille - played by Olga Kurylenko.

That's wonderful - I loved the end of 21, when Mr. White got his. You know these bstds love colour coding and the word cabal is a misnomer for what really goes down - money is just the bulwark. It will be more than interesting how much is allowed to be revealed.

Of course, they never really "get theirs" in real life but a man can dream.

[strawpoll] presidential election

Results of the straw poll on the American election:

Just your gut feeling, please, for Prez?
Selection
Votes
McCain 18%7
Romney 3%1
Other 35%14
Obama 30%12
Lizard Queen 15%6
40 votes total

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

[corruption] legalize it and it goes away

Everyone's been talking about it - Dizzy with his non-specific bank accounts - and a dozen or more other august bloggers, let alone the media but there's still one thing I don't get.

Call me obtuse but I don't understand why we need to monitor, register or concern ourselves in any way with sources of parliamentary funding and by extension - sources of presidential funding in the States.

It's so hypocritical anyway. The real funding comes in surreptitiously, via the Club of this or the Club of that or from individuals who know individuals who know a banker anyway, so why bother?

I'm not condoning corruption. I'm simply condoning the uncorrupting of corruption. If everyone is corrupt, absolutely everyone, then there is no corruption any more.

Works well in certain countries.

[winter] from russia with love


Strange sort of day - winter and yet not winter.

During the November to March period in this country, it's best if the temperature sits about minus 8 to 10, with forays down to 28 or 30 on occasions. In practice, especially in these latter years, it wildly fluctuates.

Warmer weather is not such a good thing. When there's a hard frost and the earth is rock hard, the snow ameliorates the harshness with its silent, slightly surreal, cushioning effect but down below, good things are happening.

The immediate beneficiary is the flora, which really does need a hard frost to regenerate next spring but lower temperatures also have the effect of rendering dormant all the nasties - sickness in the true cold is quite rare. Instead, there's an almost comforting existence outside and this, combined with the festive season, leads to a spirit of near-goodwill.

Today though, with it's near zero temperatures, the roads are slushy, making them impossible for drivers, there is sickness and crankiness, the sky is a dull grey, as distinct from its snow-threatening mode, which is much brighter - and the electricity is not good in the atmosphere.

This is a nation too, where the old and superstitious vie with the knew western direness. A young man will solemnly inform you that you must let your cat go in first when entering a new flat because cats have second sight. A girl will warn you never to let yourself be photographed because others will use incantations, in connection with the photo, to place hexes on you [last time I checked there were eleven on me from four women].

You never hand money to anyone in the evening and it's best not to do so at any time. It must be placed on the table and the other picks it up. You never shake hands in a doorway or sit at the corner of a table or conduct business across a corner. Not surprisingly, feng shui has some currency over here although being eastern, it is less popular - China is still the most immediate enemy and the U.S.A. seen as second.

The attitude to America is ambivalent - the culture of dire music, burger thinking, feminism and laissez-faire relationships has made huge inroads and yet politically, most Russians resent what America is doing in Kosovo, the Ukraine and in other places. The U.S.A. leadership, as distinct from the people themselves, is seen as the enemy of peace around the world, at odds with the average American who really believes his country is the last bastion of democracy.

It's hard to appreciate the destruction wrought on this country during the soviet era and the legacy in terms of the people who survived. A great slice of the nation was either eliminated or driven into exile. The intelligentsia as a class does not exist and the highest offices are held by a far more pragmatic class. There is an unreal proportion of fools, as there is in America today.

Everyone knows the jokes on the internet about the stupid bankrobbers, Miss Universe who's not sure whether her knickers are over or under and the proliferation of spam which presupposes a certain lack of nouse.

Bryson often wrote of this phenomenon and it's ably assisted by the dumbing down of education and lack of knowledge of the wider world. Well - that is just as much so here, now that education is breaking down and the new ignorance is mortifying.

You only have to look at the decisions drivers make on the roads to see a really brute mental sluggishness at large, all around. Not with all. Not with , of course There's razor sharp intellect across the strata but it's in a minority. Again - not a lot different to anywhere else out in the wider world, except that this nation has intellectual traditions and names of world standing in science and the arts. Old names now. Russians once contributed to the stock of world knowledge out of proportion to their opportunities but no longer.

We are now in the day of the global yahoo and I blame the west.

Women - I know I have an idealized view of women - savvy, smart, beautiful, chic, fabulously warm and liking to be treated as ladies - but the non-capacity of so many girls to be that now, as distinct from formerly, is dismaying.

This is the day of herd rutting and excess of substances, of clubbing in lieu of culture - not a bad thing every so often but the chav mentality wears thin very quickly. Such young people, especially the girls, cannot, simply cannot, carry out a rational conversation beyond an 800 word vocabulary, largely jargon. And their life concerns leave one seriously wondering.

What's more, there's a whole nation of them rising.

The majority wish to and some actually do pull themselves out of it and their parents expend huge energy and money on sons and daughters to "ejukate" them [I avoid this trap like the plague] but it's largely a losing battle. Another stratum - the self made businessman or woman - that's a different matter and these will do what it takes to become the cutters and dicers of the near future. Such people are driven and no prizes for guessing which stratum I target.

It's still a largely patriarchal society and the men are not going to relinquish this readily but already change is overtaking them. The educated women are taking over, not that they weren't always present.

This requires explanation. Yes, it is patriarchal here and yet there is a tradition that the financial institutes are for girls. Can you credit that? 80% of students at these places would be girls. So where are the boys? Either at the energy and engineering institutes or else wheeling and dealing and trying to make a fortune that way. The vast majority fail, drop out and their existence is then a question of scrambling around to survive.

Therefore, there's a certain lawlessness and the rogue males are everywhere in herds. I personally don't worry too much about the ever-present threat - if it happens, it happens and there's enough rogue male in me anyway to rationalize it for now.

You can be hurt here and quickly too.

Without your network, without a "krisha" or roof, protection in other words, you just don't survive, especially if you're foreign. You're judged by your krisha [which, by the way, no one calls it any more] and if it's good, there's a growling sort of acceptance that it's best not to touch you. But things can alter and wholesale changes can occur overnight so it's best to be constantly at the ready to fly.

It would be wrong to err by painting a picture of a dire, bestial existence, a Russia in black. This is simply not so. The west knows the warm hearts of these people, the friendliness once they know you're a friend and the fierce loyalty to the loyal.

The food is fresh and delicious, the Russian cuisine is mildly spicy and they have so many names for variants on foods which we have but one name for, e.g. jam. The efficacy of kefir or katik last thing at night, the knowledge of various meats and which combinations go best is universal. Even men know.

I put out a two jams the other day to have with the tea and the chap went straight for the one made by the grandmother. How did he know? He knew that varenye is boiled jam, that many berry jams are fresh and that the bottled commercial variety are preserves. The one he chose was a grandmother type. He knows which fish to buy and which to let be. There is a native knowledge here which I simply don't possess but I'm learning.

The women are stunning, the male's warm smile and big bear handshake is reassuring and there's a lack of ceremony which can be misunderstood. Hypothetical example - someone calls and a conversation would go like this:

"Did he arrive?"

"Da."

"Did he pay?"

"No."

"Right we go elsewhere. Tell him to f- off."

Phone goes down and new deal is made.

Truth is - I prefer it this way. You want to eat? Yes. How much? Second dish size [meaning a main meal]. All right - twenty minutes. Out come the meat and veg, followed by tea and sweets - and when you're done, you say "spasibo", often to no one in particular and then it's back to work.

If you don't happen to have any work, then you create it by getting out the drill and drilling into the neighbour's wall. [I swear I'm buying a kalashnikov and I'm going to gun that bstd down.]

I know everyone lives their fast life not dissimilarly, even in Britain but there is a perfunctory nature to it all here - again, that special lack of ceremony - which is clear and to the point. No frills - straight into it. Especially in sex. At strategic points around the city the phone numbers are sprayed on walls. You need it - just phone.

I had a discussion about this with some Russian men. Why on earth would you pay a walking disease centre for an hour's rutting, when there are just so many stunning girls around? The wry smile was no answer and when pressed, they said that it's instant, without complexes and without complications. Faced with an hour of unpressured release or going home to the shrill catalogue of defects read out to you night after night, a proportion of men take the road of less resistance.

Buying and selling encapsulates the mentality here - you're never "thinking of" buying anything. If you tell your friend you're "thinking of" buying a Sonata, he reaches for a mobile to make the call and expects you'll have the bankroll already in the coat pocket, ready to go.

To the Brits and to the Yanks I'd say that there really is a quite different mentality behind that beautiful Russian face. The face can fool you, looking so European but in fact the mentality is alien. But it can be lived with, with understanding and the longer you go on, the more you warm to it. The only question which remains is whether the Brits, Yanks and Russians wish to warm to each other.

That appears to be the main question just now.


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

[björk] berserkist tradition revived


Photographer for the New Zealand Herald Glenn Jeffrey accused Icelandic singer-songwriter Björk of attacking him at the airport in Auckland in New Zealand yesterday. He said she had attacked him for no good reason and torn his T-shirt.

“I took a couple of pictures and I got about three or four frames of her [...] and as I turned and walked away she came up behind me, grabbed the back of my black skivvy [long T-shirt] and tore it down the back,” Jeffery told the New Zealand Herald.

This is not the first time that Björk has lashed out at the media. Twelve years ago she attacked a TV reporter at the airport in Bangkok after the reporter allegedly harassed her and her son. Björk later apologized for the incident.

Perhaps this desire to unclothe the reporter stemmed from her deeply held belief that wearing more than a few leaves posed a grave mental health risk. Or was it some sort of race memory of her forebears, the Berserks, once again asserting itself?

[true confessions] je déteste

I've never ever read a Harry Potter nor seen any film of the ilk. I have not the least clue what reality TV is or whether Big Idol and American Brother are something real or a home for ASBOs.

Since my television was stolen ten years ago, there has not been the least desire to replace it.

I do confess to once watching the colour coded Cilla Liverpool's Blind Date or whatever it was called and it appeared to be for non-comps to postulate on pointless things and to look inarticulately ultra-cool while putting down other contestants. This was confirmed when they interviewed a couple, near the end, who spent the entire time slagging one another off.

Somehow, all of these were labelled entertainment. Still, it beat On the Buses and Alf Garnett.

On the "good" list?

Doctor Who, Fawlty, All Gas and Gaiters, Rumpole, Python, Yes Minister, Young Ones and one or two others. :)

[novels] ongoing dialogues

As many regulars know, Sean of Omnium has been kind enough to cast a critical eye over the first book [I hope I can say "so far" but he's free to stop this whenever he wishes] and he's brought up some structural and also sundry minor problems which need resolution.

So I find myself heavily involved in rewriting and thus the blog has been suffering. It struck me that this process might be bloggable in itself and so I asked him if he'd mind me using the "structural part" of my last letter as a post in itself. So here it is:

Sean, thanks again. Your comments raise issues which need to be addressed and are excellent.

Characters with similar sounding names. Yesterday, I went through and changed all variants of Anya to Anya itself in all chapters, including in the second book. As for Moscow Anna, she remains as she is when Anya is involved but when it is clearly only Hugh and her in the action, then she drops back to Anna.

Ksenia/Ksusha [the latter a diminutive of the former] can be solved by a little dialogue near the beginning in which this is explained.

The "A" characters - Liya, Lisa, Aliya etc. You know, Sean, this is the actual dilemma over here. These are real names for girls I know - the things I write on the blog are only part of the real truth about girls in this town - it truly is a hedonist's paradise over here and one learns to be more circumspect about it. My only device can be to alter the names completely, once the book is done. Using those names while I was writing was necessary because their characters had to come through in the action.

Omniscience. Very great problem. Firstly, author omniscience. This is the trouble in the first five or six chapters because they were originally autobiographical and written in the first person - they were a log of what really had happened. Then I rewrote those chapters in the third person but the danger therewas that Hugh became a real Mary Sue and the author knew too much. Later, he doesn't.

I'll go back through and remove all the "and that was the last time they were together" type of comments, which should solve that. Allied to this is the device of the Afterword first. This Afterword is lifted straight from Chapter 20 and is intended to raise fears or expectations of an inevitable tragedy plus one other thing. The action in the first three or four chapters is slow and mundane - a man travelling to Russia, settling in and discovering new things.

This has been interesting to the Russians themselves who recognize what I'm writing about and want to know how a foreigner sees it but whether it's so interesting to a wider readership is a question. Was that sort of description interesting to you? The Afterword device is not new but it presupposes author omniscience.

Hugh's omniscience is a greater problem - he's annoying in that he knows so much but again, the difficulty is that he actually does, operating, as he does, in fields in which he has experience, which are many. Again, it's necessary to go back through and ascribe his knowledge to something he just read recently - he can be a sort of bookworm who comes up with facts or else one of the other characters can become the wise one and he consults her [or him] as some sort of oracle.

His knowledge of human nature is virtually unsolvable. He does have experience of life and his work has given him insight - plus he trusts no one. Again, to solve that raises the question of whether we wish to solve it. Do we want a character without ability or is he allowed expertise in some areas? He's not a great lover [he's only as good as any of us] and he never fights, nor does he know a way through - events carry him along plus he's not handsome. Perhaps that was the greater crime - not to make him handsome.

His weapons are therefore charm and knowledge of character. The latter can make people uncomfortable and we often don't warm to someone who knows and can see through us, hence the desire to prove him wrong, to say he's mistaken. This is problematic with Hugh in the first book but is solved in the second when he finds himself in unfamiliar surroundings where the women know far more than he does.

There's a lady I know here reading Book 2 first as Hugh is more at the mercy of the women in France [she is a French translator]. In Russia, it's the opposite problem and the reason why the Russian male is arrogant. It really is easy to dominate girls in this patriarchal society and I try not to but they almost invite me to. And they are beautiful too. Also, they don't have the western feministic superwoman motif yet so the society is still male-friendly.

Thank you so, so much for opening my eyes to the problems - I can't start to tell you how valuable this is. James