[knickers] the great dilemma

Boxers or le slip?

As regular readers well know, I'm deeply concerned with underwear and have often posted on the topic:

Here ... here [with links here - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5] ... also here , in which the point is made, quite reasonably, I felt:

C'est pourquoi le slip est encore fort apprécié, malgré une très forte percée, cette dernière décennie, du shorty. "En grande distribution, c'est encore le slip qui se vend le plus", précise Estelle Cortier, responsable marketing chez Hechter Studio. Ailleurs, c'est le shorty qui sort grand vainqueur toutes catégories ; chez Hom, il représente 52 % des ventes, contre 33 % pour le slip et 8 % pour le string.

The point is made that comfort is what it's all about for the male:

La forme shorty fait l'unanimité chez les jeunes; chez les plus âgés, elle plaît plutôt aux citadins. Les coloris les plus appréciés sont les traditionnels blanc, bleu marine, noir ou gris. Les fantaisies couture doivent être discrètes et surtout ne pas nuire au bien-être. "Pour l'homme, la mode n'est pas un facteur déterminant, constate Marc Lefèvre. Au contraire, l'effet de style est plutôt rébarbatif. Son premier critère de choix, c'est le confort de la ceinture, des coutures, de la découpe."

Now it seems to me that there is a sort of knicker mafia in operation here which decrees that boxers are go and briefs are nowhere. For example, one Yahoo forum asks:

Women: Is there no love anymore for guys who wear briefs??

... to which responses ranged from this:

I prefer guys who wear neither...it's not the underwear that's important, it's what lurks underneath it that matters.

... and I'd agree - I wear knickers in bed on my own and nothing when with a lady ... to this:

personally, when meeting a guy, personality matters more than underwear... aside from the fact you dont usually know what underwear he is wearing when you meet them, the underwear doesn't make the man so to speak ...

... so that was encouraging at least. Then I googled "briefs destroy sex life" and "briefs impotence" and came up with nothing so now it was time to look at the abundance of questionnaires out there which tell your personality from your underwear.

This was the one near the top of google first:

* If you are a man who wears boxers, then you know how to let loose.

* Most girls tend to wear bikini briefs and that's because they are just the right fit between coverage and still being feminine.

* Guys who wear boxer briefs are typically cool, collected (sorry, our minds are sick) and organized (*snicker*). They typically are the leaders of a group and orangize friends when it's time to hang out.

* If you like to go commando then you either have forgotton to do laundry completely, or you are our rebel.Holy tighty whities! Did you get those from your Dad? Wow. Sorry to be harsh, but seriously, who wears tighty whities? If you do, first, you must be 75 years old, or in need of some mental attention.

* If you love wearing thongs or g-strings, we can pretty much assume that you are obsessed with flossing.

Wonder what this man thinks of that? But let's continue:

* It takes a brave man to really put himself out there, with nothing between himself and metal teeth [no knickers guy].

* We're not going to say something obvious about how you're more of a tomboy for wearing boy shorts. Whoops, we mean we ARE going to say that [referring to girls].

* String It Up - You're all about letting the world see everything that other people might hide. And you're not ashamed, even if you should be ...

At this point I'm getting a little worried about the occasional shots of half-naked teenage girls in underwear and check the url - oops!

Out of there like a shotgun.

So, let's try another questionnaire where you have to fill in your details - sex, preferences and so on plus your underwear and they tell you which celebrity you're most like.

Right. Well I filled in "guy" rather than "girl" and " black briefs" and hey presto, apparently I'm most like Orlando Bloom:

You are Orlando Bloom. You are charming with your boyish good looks, and come across as sweet and innocent.

Well, scallops rock me tadger - there's something wrong there and then I see my error - I should have filled in "man" instead of "guy". So I quickly change it and now I'm most like Heath Ledger:

You are Heath Ledger! Your rugged good looks have girls going gaga!

... but that can't be right as I'm not gay. So, in the end, the research was a bit of a washout and the only thing to do is run my own serious questionnaire which you can find at the top left of this blog.