I'm a non-smoker and I'm angry. I'm sick of coughing my lungs out on a train which is why I drive now. However, this is not why I'm angry.
Very angry.
Let me steal from this brilliant piece by Jim Schembri, on public transport, and say:
"not fly-off-the-handle angry. This is focused, laser-guided angry - we are reasonable people pushed to that point of sheer exasperation which only the inefficiencies of our wretched, run-down, asinine, political system can push us."
It's a double-whammy, a double insult. First, the incomparable Reactionary Snob asks the question: "[Is this] The end of the humble fag break?" He goes on to explain:
Now it looks like our friends in Brussels have their overly litigious eyes on our doorways and expect those of us, who at the end of a hard day defending the innocent (or, indeed, the guilty) will have to go even further afield [for a fag].
Soon enough, we will have to stand in the middle of the street with a sign saying 'I will stub this fag out on my face if a non-smoker comes anywhere near me' hung around our necks.
As if that wasn't enough, on cue, RS's Google ads at the top of his sidebar launched into this:
Catch Smokers Lighting Up
Unique accurate method of catching smokers in the act of lighting up
They're seriously advertising technology to help you turn in a work colleague or friend for something he or she dearly needs at that point in time? What the f--k is this world coming to? Honestly!
You know what? I'm going to take up smoking. Yes I am.
I'm going to fly over to Edinburgh and light up a giant, one foot long joint in the middle of Princes Street and stuff them when they come for me. I'll blow smoke in their faces and knock 'em all out.
I'm angry!
UPDATE: Mutleythedog has just inspired me:
SMOKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!
TAKE UP SMOKING - ITS COOL AND MAKES YOU LOOK MANLY*!
I DEMAND MY RIGHT TO COUGH AND SPLUTTER TO AN EARLY GRAVE!
Now come on over and arrest me! Illegal, my a-se, you non-comps!
*Apologies to the ladies for the unreconstructed non-inclusion there.