[floppy bowtie] the only way to dress

Don't make it too perfect, otherwise it might seem pre-tied

Shoes are most certainly the first thing to take care of but once you've got your leather soles on, it's time to take care of the tie.

During the 1980s, I was known for my bowties and particularly in Britain, these are de rigeur for the independent man with a sense of difference However, with the shifting of the colour in your outfit to your neck, some things have to be right:

1. the tie itself;

2. the shirt which now has no regular tie covering it;

3. your neck.

The greatest danger is that she'll want to upstage you and wear one too.

The tie should always be silk but you now come to a difficult choice - big ostentatious floppy or a neat little item like a pencil moustache. I generally opted for the ostentatious but that didn't have to mean gaudy or gauche. Your colour scheme is your own affair but I tended to go for the maroons and navies, with the grey of the suit somewhere in the scheme.

Warning - absolutely no pre-tied bowies with elastic. An afficianado will know instantly and your stocks will drop.

If you're the non-flamboyant type, you can still go for bowties in more muted colours and patterns, of course but the essential thing is to get into the bowie as soon as you can. You'll become braver as you go on and soon you'll wonder where the fear came from.

The beauty of the bowtie is that you can indicate character and mood. It can be tied disdainfully, perfunctorily or sloppily to project a more dissolute persona.

Here's how to tie it: