[russia one year on] has anything changed

My eyewitness information is now [coming up to being] a year out of date but primary source material still comes in from Russia as to what’s happening in that great land – I’m pumping one girl for as much as I can about the current state of play.

As is often the case with eyewitness and primary sources, they’re of less use than what researchers can offer, being specific to the situation those sources find themselves in. However, there are enough different sources currently coming in to my inbox, to attempt a comparison between Russia and Britain.

Both are facing depression and both have interesting set-ups at the top but one difference, it seems to me, is that not only are prices artificially kept in check over there, they are able to be. By this, I mean that Russia is still not sufficiently part of the market economy that it feels the strictures of process.

Here, if Darling says it is so, there are a thousand pundits to point out that he’s either in cloud cuckoo land or telling porkies. Everyone knows Britain’s debt. In Russia, everyone knows it is oil and gas which keep things afloat and when the Duma says, ‘This is,’ usually it is, until next week at least, when they may have changed their minds. Either way, the pan-Russian public just accepts it and puts it down to being Moscow’s doing.

The original model for our UKSSR, soviet Russia left a legacy of red tape and criminalization which put the average punter into a position, long ago, of having to ignore the million and one tiny regulations but to concentrate instead on the ‘regulation of the week’ which the powers that be happen to be pushing.

For example, everyone knows when the police have been instructed to pull over drivers for having half a wheel on a white line and with the state of the roads over there, it’s impossible to take any journey without four or five times committing that particular breach. Therefore, one doesn’t travel by car that day or else takes a route where the GAI are not likely to be. Usually these things happen when the coffers are low, at certain significant moments in the year.

Another difference is that apparently the mini-skirt is back in fashion and over there, the young women are absolutely everywhere, on every street, in every shop, anywhere you try to turn - there they are. It would be difficult for a man in the main shopping streets just at this point. Over here, women are only just de-rugging.

There’ve apparently been changes to tertiary education over there and I’m trying to get my friends to fathom those and be a little more than mono-syllabic in their replies. More on that at a later time.

I suspect that things are not a great deal different to what people can remember in the ‘bad old days’, a debatable question over there as to whether they were the bad old days and Russians are uniquely placed to cope with deep privations and dire circumstances in general. Over here, only the war generation would be prepared for what is coming up in late 2009 to mid 2010.

Having siad that, the Brits are perhaps halfway between the Americans and Russians for being able to batten down hatches and live on a shoestring, to shamelessly mix metaphors, as is my wont.

There’s a popular joke in some quarters in Russia and it goes a little like this:

There was a tank broken down in the desert. An American was sent out to assess it, he got to the core of the problem and ordered the part from Pittsburg, waiting time six weeks.

Two Brits came out to assess the problem, looked over, under and around, one raised his eyebrows, muttered, ‘Typical, in’it?’ to which the other said, ‘Big job, that. American tank. We’ll need to make a list of parts and we’ll sort it tomorrow, at 2.55 p.m.’

They departed the scene to get the requisite gear, for which they’d need to submit a Form SQ23-4h5, a J7D/347/T27 and possibly a K43 in triplicate plus they’d have to check that the officers authorized to do the repairs possessed the relevant NVQs. They’d be back tomorrow at 2.55 p.m and if a Brit says it won’t be sorted before 2.55 p.m. then, barring someone being called onto another job, in which case they’d need to reassess the return time, it will be sorted at 2.55 p.m.

A Russian came out, looked over, under etc., then broke for a cigarette. Two more Russians arrived, all shook hands and they discussed the matter, handing ciggies around. Four more, including two women, saw this group, came over, shook hands, cigarettes were passed round again, at which five more came upon the scene, cigarettes etc. etc.

Half swarmed over the machine and the other half remained smoking, for moral support. Dima called out, from under the tank, for someone to throw him down some chewing gum and one of the girl’s hairclips. After some time, he called out for Sergei to try the ignition.

The tank spluttered but wouldn’t start.

They broke for cigarettes and another brainstorming conference began, at which they discussed the two eternal Russian questions, in this order: ‘Who’s to blame and what to do?’

Time to break for a nip of vodka. Someone had brought some dried fish and khlep [bread].

In a better frame of mind now, everyone staggered back and then Misha saw the crux of the problem, common sense really, where before all had been fog. One of the girls’ panyhose, a hairclip and two chewed pieces of gum later, Sergei tried the ignition, it growled and spluttered, then suddenly sprang into life.

They all broke for a couple more nips and some ciggies, a good day’s work having been put in and some super lovemaking coming up late evening. Then they piled into, onto and around the tank and drove back to camp.

On Monday - why it is still possible to starve in Russia.