I love company on the net - visitors who come in and comment, new friends, the sense of community and all round niceness of my blogfriends. Genuinely I do. I'd love to have a drink with each and every one of you but thee's a little problem.
If you'd actually approach me to come out for a drink, I might find an excuse to run and hide - nourishing obscurity. Then again, I might not.
I'd go for a drink with one person, as I relate best one-on-one. With 2 to 4 people, they can entertainingly relate to each other and leave me to get on with my beer. With 5 to 20 I'd sneak away and only come back in a crowd of 100.
As my work relating to the young ladies is 12 to 15 to one, I deal with that by relating individually to each one in turn. Group is not my thing.
Now a confession. Sometimes I call off appointments if there are no blank spaces in the diary, not because I'm lazy or because there's anything wrong. It's just that at that moment the tolerance level of other humans is somewhat impaired - to have to go through the small talk and being on my best behaviour takes it out of me - nothing personal, you understand. I don't want to see dogs or cats either.
I don't care about money. Of course none of us let opportunities slip by if we can help it but I don't go out of my way to find the cursed stuff.
My greatest bliss is to be sailing a boat with one other person. With a lady for the ambience and the champagne or with a mate to see how fast we can get this thing going.
I almost instinctively take the unpopular point of view and attack the unattackable - the higher the better. That's quite soothing to the fevered soul.
And you?
I like finding myself unbooked, unplanned, by chance, alone at lunch with my other half in a great little trattoria, the noisy horde of offspring being at school, white-cloth table shaded by grapevines, fine glass of vino bianco and a platter of parma ham between us. The moment comes by one or two times a year, but it should happen every week.
ReplyDeleteWas it Paul Simon who said "Improvisation is too important to be left to chance"? Maybe you should both, independently, schedule the possibility once or twice a fortnight. I agree, Tony - that's bliss.
ReplyDeleteIf self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom, you are wiser than I am James. I like all of the above, plus an occasional large audience, in unpredictable combinations.
ReplyDeleteLike a lot of busy people, I derive guilty pleasure from free time arising from cancellations. Such time is a gift and I try to be entirely selfish with it when it arrives.
Sounding convincingly disappointed when someone calls to cancel is therefore an important life skill, with which my early dramatic training has helped.
Now, however, I am worried that if we are ever able to schedule that drink, you will feel morally obliged to cancel at the last moment!
I like to tell everyone I am too busy with other things to meet up and let them cancel each other out and go fishing instead...
ReplyDeleteI'm usually up for a pint.
ReplyDeleteI always find three to be the optimum number for a group. Beyond four, groups fragment into conversational sections anyway.
I'd happily join you for a beer, but I suspect my taste in pubs is a little below your standards, Mr Higham.
Up to five other people is about right. Three couples. Makes for an interesting discussion particularly if you have different backgrounds. One and one is OK but it's always better to get someone else in the mix. Nobody agrees with everyone 100% so it's best to discuss topical issues and resolve them rather than what do you think of Brown, or whatever. I don't drink but I'm always happy to go out for one.
ReplyDeleteI'd be a bit miffed if someone cancelled on a regular basis. Clearly things happen but if it happened to many times I would start making appointments myself I had no intention of keeping.
Money is only important when you don't have any. When you have enough you can get choosy and turn down money for more personal time. I could get more money in London but would lose out on family life.
My greatest bliss is my granddaughter. Spent some time yesterday just kicking a ball with her instead of working. Meant I had to work later when she was in bed but one of the benefits of my job.
I always like to take the apposing side. When in a discussion I listen to the views and then I like to argue for the other side. Even at work I think it is important to think about alternatives. Generally things are not black and white and discussing the other views can help. That’s why many times I seem to be arguing for something that I do not agree with from a personal viewpoint. Let’s get all the views on the table before we make a decision.
What a lovely post, I do know what you mean. I don't think what you're describing qualifies as "curmudgeonry."
ReplyDeleteI would gladly join you for a drink, but it can't be beer. I'm Italian, you know. I drink wine.
I love being with other people...maybe because I spend a lot of time lonely.
ReplyDeleteI can often feel threatened by other women,due to past experiences in my life.....
Great comments - dog tired - just got home - will give detailed replies tomorrow morning. Thanks all.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy visiting in the Blog world - I don't have to wear shoes and I get to choose the time and how long I stay.
ReplyDeleteIn 'real life' I am more a one on one type of person, or a small dinner party. At large parties or balls I enjoy being the arm-candy so I can study the participants.
Lots of money is like being pretty; it's not absolutely necessary, but it's handy.
I'm also very big on taking the opposite point of view. I have people call me from different continents because I can justify any side of an argument. The truth is - very little, very little, in life is black and white, most of it is grey with the point of view depending on your point of view.
I'm happiest with one to five other people, too - when I'm not just contentedly sitting here with Simi, that is. I am uncomfortable with people who do not recognise personal space or boundaries. Yet I say to married friends who envy what they regard as my "freedom" that being alone is fine - WHEN YOU HAVE A CHOICE IN THE MATTER.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm teetotal but that never stopped me going to the pub for a bitter lemon when I lived in a place with pubs.
ReplyDeleteI hate being with people in groups now, I am best one on one, even with three or four, somehow it get a bit competitive. For that reason the only parties I like are the ones I give myself when I know everybody and I have a job to fall back on.
James, I was so ticked off because I was making a long comment on the Florida presidential election post when it disappeared. Just vanished. I accidentally brushed across the touchpad on the laptop and it was gone. (I use a separate wireless laptop mouse.) It was brilliant but you'll never know because it's gone forever.
regards
jmb
Tom - "guilty pleasure from free time" - says it all and it's great!
ReplyDeleteMutley - great method.
Crushed - I think our tastes might coincide more than you suspect.
Bag - "I'd be a bit miffed if someone cancelled on a regular basis." I'd never cancel on a friend and if we'd agreed, of course I'd be there with pleasure. I meant the bland company of acquaintances you have nothing in common with.
Ruthie, are you averse to Chianti, my favourite everyday wine?
Sally, as a man, I might not be expected to understand your last sentence but I do - also from experinece.
Lady Macleod - too true.
Welshcakes - choice is everything.
JMB - "I was so ticked off" - never be, as it was meant to be. I've learnt this only from bitter Blogspot.com experience.
...the only parties I like are the ones I give myself...
... or maybe when we implicitly know and trust the other.
In general - it's clear it affects us all and I like to think it comes down to not wishing to waste time and effort, money or love. We like to feel that what we do produces some sort of result.
Are you kidding?
ReplyDeleteI love chianti.