I'd probably react like Lisa Nowak, if I could find a diaper which would fit.Welshcakes had a post today on an incident which happened to her:
There is a butcher in one of the supermarkets who really enjoys his job: he knows everyone, flirts with all the women and he always has a smile and a joke for you. Most days I find him a tonic but I'm ashamed to say that today I got the "grumps" with him …
Read Welsh's whole post and you'll get the idea. I really think she was justified in feeling hard done by. There's an incident I'd like to tell you about too now, if I may:
There are some of us over here in a consulting capacity. Sometimes they come to us, sometimes we have to go there. One such chap is a real ladies man and half the ladies who dress up to the nines [he calls it 'full warpaint'] and visit him, I suspect enjoy the ambience of his set up.
Some time back, one particular lady who was near the end of a consultation had to wait when the next lady arrived early. Of course our chap made light of it, introduced the two and got into some desultory banter with the new arrival, smiling across at the 'incumbent', who was less than amused.
Unlike the socially adept Welshcakes, this one was not adept and an incident ensued. Actually, a bad incident. Though the behaviour of the 'incumbent' was apparently well out of order, yet I feel she was a bit hard done by.
I know when I engage someone in conversation, I feel that that's my time with her. I don't expect, when someone else bowls in and ignores my presence that the other partner in the conversation will turn to the newcomer and take up with her.
Even less would I expect to be jollied along into accepting the situation. That's even worse than being ignored.
Yes, it's ego and why not?
In any one-on-one, there's a certain amount of feeling special, that the other person's eyes are for you, for that time. I do not wish to share that with anyone else. I know it's not really more than she does for anyone else she charms but still - it's nice for that time and it's mine.
So yes, I feel Welshcakes should have grabbed the guy's meat cleaver and done a bit of scimitar swinging, just to make a point, you understand.
Thanks, James. You have cheered me up! Yes, that's it: it's to do with the eye contact and all that. Next time I'll grab his meat cleaver!!
ReplyDeleteWell of course being the jump- in -the -deep- end type I would have said something and then gone home and berated myself. Because the butcher is the one you have an ongoing relationship with, and it's what he thinks that counts. So if you speak up, he probably will tend to be wary around you next time and the whole dynamic of your pleasant regular encounter with the butcher is totally spoiled.
ReplyDeleteWell that's been my experience over many years and I still haven't learned to keep my mouth shut.
jmb
Meat cleaver idea - great, Welshcakes but in all seriousness, JMB's comment about "tend to be wary around you next time and the whole dynamic of your pleasant regular encounter with the butcher is totally spoiled" is really worth considering.
ReplyDeleteIf it were going to continue happening, then maybe it would be right to put in a well thought out phrase but if it was a one-off, then maybe better to let it go.
This is what my best friend here does better than me. He chooses the ground to join battle on himself and lets all the rest pass by.
I've been learning to do this but I do have the problem of a sharp tongue. that comes through in the Humanism post.
Food for thought.
Hi James - praguetory@googlemail.com
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