[questionable taste] epitaph competition

In a Welland, Ontario cemetery:

Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvellous thing for this vicinity.

Here’s another one:

Here lies Lester Moore.
Four slugs from a forty-four.
No Les
No More.

And another, which makes one pause:

Here lies the body of John Round.
Lost at sea and never found.

Here’s another good one.

And here’s mine:

Here lies Higham, he outlived most;
Never had time, always burnt his toast.
As his friends passed away, still he pressed on
Until one day, he too was gone.

If you can write your light-hearted entry, you could be in the running for a day’s trip, for one, to your choice of destination – Basra, Grozny, Mogadishu or anywhere you’d care to choose, in the Sudan.