[laura norda] gordogangsta addresses parliament

When Gordogangsta was asked in parliament about his thoughts on terrorism, security, freedom, citizens rights and a written constitution, his band started their signature slow groove, Gordo leapt onto the crossbenches and delivered one of his finest performances to date.

Immediately cut to disk, this classic recording will be released Friday of next week. In the mean time, here are the lyrics, before they're copyrighted:

Hey, commentators say I'm more honest than Tone

You gotta be high, man, cause that I ain't shown

I'm callin' a ‘culture war’ to defeat terrorism

Stringent security go ter fri-g-n prison

Winning ‘hearts and minds’ of young Muslims - some joke

We got some badass laws to invoke

Western values worth arguing the toss

We're undermining 'em, jack and that's just your loss

It's by the power of argument, debate

And dialogue we conceal the truth of yer fate

A global battle for yer heart and yer mind

Or so we tell yer, yer the cretinous kind

[All the wimmin' 'ere sing the chorus to Sting's tune]

Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every step you take

Every bond I break

Ill be watching you

Every single day

Every word you say

Recorded every way

We're gonna get ya, yey!

Ill be watching you

[Back to the rappin', mthrf----s]

No longer the ‘old methods of censorship’ Jack

With the Anti-Terrorism Bill it's a knife in yer back

That'll mean discussion through media and arts

Through culture, literature and sittin round bars

Yo ain't that funny cause I'm Gordo the Louse

Everfink's debated by MPs in the House

Back to the old values - that's where we're goin

Hangins on Tyburn 'n drawn gizzards showin'

Treasury's become a ‘department of security’

Like it shouldda, yo, torture, impurity

I‘ve found myself deeply immersed in these measures

Designed to cut off the terrorists' pleasures

[Wimmin', where's the fr---in chorus?]

Yo all departments from transport to economy

Energy, immigration to soshal suckurity

We used to think security was a Home Office order

Yeah well now every ministry's a fri-g-n' informer

We're protectin' the nation from terrorists, Jack

And bringin' back the old values so get off me back

Security officials keep one eye on the floor

And report on the sheep who come in through that door

You fink it was bad the way Tone was down hittin

Yeah - now watch the militarization of Britain

Suspicion'll be sewn into British life, son

'N state officials don't like it - go to Room 101

[Wimmin', do yer stuff; I need a quick toke]

Yo, for dodgy identities and now that means all of yer

Clampdowns on liberty we'll get a fair haul of yer

Let us be clear: we face enemies that hate

We pushed 'em to do this so there ain't no debate

Between justice and humanity, barbarism and evil

No one should be impartial or disengaged, yer weasel

But engaged, resolute and solid for justice

Remaking British society the fastest

Silence the terrorists their job is done now

People o' Brittin there ain't no more fun now

ID cards'll get yer; yer thought yer could hide

Welcome to Brittin youse f---ers inside

Yo, hit it, Jack!

Gordo leaps on the speaker's chair as the band goes beserk, kicks him in the head, tarzans onto the polished wood part of the table, break dancin' and scattering tomes. Wimmin' start the chorus again but the Men in Black drag 'em away for a good rape and pillage - the old values - return to the old values, you unnerstan.

[na avoice] russian word for shoddy work

Not my dining room, I hasten to add.

I look around my "new" flat and see the tiny splashes of paint over the bath, the taps on an angle and white chalk from the ceiling ground into every crevice in the parquet floor - impossible to remove except professionally.

Sure the overall feel is better and everyone says how light and breezy the flat now is, how much space there is and then the eyes [usually female] fall on the defects.

They can't believe I "allowed" this.

I suppose it's trusting a workman to be a good workman, almost willing it. Of course I'd been warned that there were certain people who operated на авось - without caring in the least about the result. I'd heard there were people who really quite seriously believed that the money was the only thing and that any sort of job was OK as long as you got the money.

I seriously expected that in a room where painting was going on and the only phone point in the flat was on the skirting board of that room, that the paperers and painters would place something over the phone when they got close to it.

Not a bit of it.

I came back in the room, having gone down for some things from the shop and not only were the phone and all the electrical points clogged in white but the receiver had been knocked off its perch.

I can't believe that a person, even a workman, would have a brain so wired that she would completely ignore that it was there, even having been warned about it.

Or how she could rat-a-tat-tap on a thin pane of glass one metre square with a metal tool to attract her co-worker or would pick up my metal-legged stool and swing it around without noticing how close to the glass panelled living room doors it was.

I also can't believe why I didn't get angry - there's something British in this methinks - wanting to avoid a "scene" perhaps. Shocked to the core by the cavalier and jaunty way the woman continued and when I did mention it, she said it wasn't her who had done it, I didn't know how to counter this.

Plus there is a complicated arrangement with this apartment and it means I have to accept the workmen who are sent and there again I trusted my partner in this matter. When she, after it was all too late, agreed that it had been shoddy and they were going to be docked a certain proportion to cover the clean up, it still didn't make things better.

I don't want those two back in my flat. I'll do it myself. I was never brought up like this. Both my "fathers" were meticulous workmen and I would have challenged anyone to find a speck of dust in my mother's house.

Once, after I'd built a box-fence at my own house, my father came over and cast an eye up and down a job I was proud of and then spotted the defect in the line and how the concrete pouring hadn't been smoothed over in places.

Once after a screen-printing job, my later "father" cast an eye over it and immediately saw the slight run of colour from the stencil. It wasn't the defect, it was whether it was spotted and corrected that counted.

In his final years, I saw my original father painting a cabinet and the job was, quite frankly, like something I would have done. He saw it too and I never recall him painting again.

So every time I see these splashes which we've even tried to gouge out but which have gone into the enamel, it's very, very upsetting.

I can't believe people can be shoddy. I can't believe it.

Do I sound a bit like John McEnroe?

[losing streak] the americans do it big time

You don't see much American pro-ball on this site but this must take the biscuit as an amazing record:

Bad starting pitching, brutal relief and hardly any hitting. Oh, and lots of booing. Loss No. 10,000 came Sunday night when Albert Pujols hit two of the St. Louis Cardinals' six homers in a 10-2 rout of Philadelphia.

By the ninth inning, fans in the sellout crowd of 44,872 were thumbing their noses at the dubious mark, standing and cheering. One fan held up a sign that read:

"10,000 'N Proud."

"It's just another one as far as I'm concerned," said 81-year-old fan Ty Ayars, of Swedesboro, N.J. "They need pitching and until they get good pitching, they're not going to win a World Series any time soon."

What sort of a person supports a team like this? What is his psychological makeup? Then again, I was a Crazy Gang supporter and still watch Vinnie with affection in his pro-film career.

In Australia, there is a team named St.Kilda which operates much the same way and St Kilda supporters are generally greeted with both a smile and admiration of their fortitude.

They did well in recent years but have now dropped back again, as usual.

Also, what sort of team takes the name of their home city and contorts it into a moniker? Imagine Man U as "the Mannies" or Real Madrid as the "Maddies".

Suppose it takes all sorts.

[criticism] and how the blogger handles it

Regular readers will know this blog doesn't give a damn about reputations - hence Blogpower. On the other hand, some of the major blogs are major blogs because of their quality.

To go further, the way the blogger handles criticism, consistently presents his material day after day in a cheerful way and acts like a gentleman counts very highly in my estimation. That's why the comments by the moronic king cnut over at Iain Dale's are interesting.

Iain's reply was:

Yes, I do delight in criticising the LibDems too and I make no apology for it. This is after all a Tory leaning blog. I make no pretention about impartiality and never have. There's nothing hypocriticial about my stance whatsoever. If you don't like what I do, no one is forcing you to return.

Can't help feeling I would have been considerably more cutting in my remarks but that always was a great problem for me in dealing with others. Blogging is a great leveller and can transmogrify an arrogant, opinionated prat into a [generally] tolerable blogger.

Hope so.

[turkey] let them in, shut them out

Sarko is undoubtedly doing well in France but his intransigence on Turkey may be based on something known and maybe on national prejudice [good for votes back home]. This is good:

Turkey will hold a general election on July 22, and opinion polls show that Erdogan's pro-business, centre-right AK party will win the most votes.

Turkish financial markets have soared in the past week, partly on the assumption that the AK will stay in power, but lack the 367 seats needed to change the constitution.

The party has presided over strong economic growth, falling inflation and the historic launch of European Union accession talks since being voted into power in November 2002.

Our government's perspective here and mine too, for what it's worth, is that we and many others around the area are heavily dependent on a stable, secular Turkey. The brand of Islam we have in this country is immensely tolerant and naturally we'd like to see something similar continue in Turkey.

The great fear is that the real power is fundamentalist and biding its time until Turkey joins the EU, then the current secularization will be encroached on and encroached on until it's a fundamentalist nation within the EU citadel. Perhaps this is what Sarko fears.

On the other hand, one source here said the other day that if Turkey is not allowed in to trade, the fundamentalists will sweep to power in a putsch and we will have another Iran on our doorstep.

And no one wants that.

[founding fathers] constitution rap

Yo, click on the pic, Jack and see the big pic!

You know, Trixy got me thinking, she did, the sternenmaedchen. The biggest problem, the daddy of them all in Broony's constitution plans is he ain't got no humor, no sir. Why can't Broony do it like they do in the States? People might buy it then:

The Constitution of the United States of America

We the People of the You-nited States

We ain't the problems, we stand 'n wait

It's the suckers deprivin' the truth from all our children

These are the f---ers doin the g-damned killin'

In Order to form a more perfect Union

You can't hide, Jack, 'cause it's a fact

Establish Justice, the common defence

Violence in the streets, any fool recognise that

But you just try to lie and lie

And we want domestic Tranquility

You say America's some motherf---in' apple pie

And we've secured the Blessings of Liberty

Yo, you gotta be high to believe that

The general Welfare for our Posterity

'Cos once you take away my right to speak

Yo, everyone in the world's up s--t creek

Freedom of Speech, let 'em take it from me, yo

Next they'll take it from you, then what you gonna do?

What we gotta do is yo - ordain

And establish this Constif---intution, man

You know when the Big Man he goes 'n hates

We're safe, brother, cause this is the United F---in' States!

Now why can't we have a constitution like that? Sorry I couldn't upload the full beat but just grab any hip-hop from your f---in' collection, yo and feel the groove.