The conundrum with carols

Firstly, just had chicken broth ... tell you what ... nice. Now, best I do this while I still can and sorry, but I must name names, plus I'm going to relate it as it happened.

With a fair idea of the carols until Christmas, it struck me that I'd not done much in the American line until after Christmas ... you know, that Marine Corps band and their humorous renditions, that sort of thing. The serious carols, the historic ones, do tend to be European.

However Toodles was saying to me that as a child, she loved Away in a Manger and O Little Town of Bethlehem, which were wonderful for a sweet child. She hastened to add that she was not asking for me to play them, which of course guarantees that I shall.

(This is going to be a very long post, readers.)

All right, so I'm thinking ... hmmmm, let's have an American afternoon of carols. First I found was fine ... Gentleman Jim Reeves, with Mary's Boy Child ... and I'm thinking of our curmudgeons here and their reaction ... this selection is not for Sceptr'd Islanders per se. 

So fine, his voice is good, good background to his life, a nice carol. Number one:

Looking around for a second carol from America ... Do You Hear What I Hear? ... and there's Martina McBride ... er, her voice is not so great for carols, it's more for drawled country songs ... great for those. All right, I keep looking around and there are dozens of female celebs, even Mariah Carey ... what's wrong with these people? Why must they "interpret" a carol? Mangle it beyond recognition so that it becomes an ego trip for the artist? And as for their personal lives!  I mean ... not looking for a saint but at least let it be a 'good' woman (or man).

Finally, I find a good one with a weird name ... Órla Fallon ... lovely voice, nice treatment of the carol. Then I see she's not American. Oops. Still, it's a nice carol, so number two.

I usually run three songs but Toodles has two so what the heck, let's do it. Bethlehem ... I'm going to read out just some of the versions ... Nat King Cole (have you seen his private life, that of a satyr?) ... Sarah McLachlan, nice voice (but cursory investigation and she's occult, into Lilith etc.) ... Cedarmont Kids, reasonable until the camera fixates on the black boy and fair girl (plus something ultra-contrived about it (more later).

Hmmmm ... Hayley Westenra, some superstar teenager and don't she knowitt?  Dan Forrest ... ah, he's an American:

Er ... he can't play, he's off key, includes the wrong notes in chords.  This is becoming frustrating.  

Perry Como ... ah, good, a good man ... but Perry's not great here, the ole crooner, and the backing singers are awful. Hmmmm ... Brighouse, a brass band ... ok but a brass band for an intimate carol? Anne Murray ... can't sing. Choir of Clare College ... ah, good, they can sing ... oops, British.  

Natalie Raynes ... bashing away at the johanna like a school ma'am or piano teacher (oops, she is a piano teacher, listing her scale of $$$$$ charges).  Well what then?  Are there any I can run?

All right, let's go with her instrumental, karaoke style with lyrics displayed (was about to run this, then saw it was the BBC) ... so, Natalie:

Now to Away in a Manger.

In frustration, I thought Pentatonix acapella would shirley do it justice. Starts ok, pans to the female ... dress split to the waist, breasts half hanging out. On a Christmas carol ... aaaggghhh! 

Well Home Free then?  It's ok but they're grinning, not taking it seriously ... plenty of real baby there for Toods and other gals but men start kissing it ... it's not up to scratch, this version.

Sigh. And there's something else ... they're singing the wrong tune. Yet some singers did have the right tune ... Toronto Mendelssohn for example, in fact most Canadian renditions had it right.

This one though, though certainly pretty, was playing some sort of country rhythm "Home on the Range" type tune.

Hmmmm, what's going on here? So, to Wikipedia, if you can get past them going all leftwing with Musk:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Away_in_a_Manger

Ah, I finally understand. Scroll down to the Music section and all is revealed.  There are two distinct tunes ... one, called Murray or Mueller, is only in the USA, all others around the world use Kirkpatrick or Cradle Song.  Both are American, so qualify, but the Americans don't seem to like the second American one. Ok, got that.  The second does sound more like a hymn in church ... listen to both there.

But which to play?  Why do these things have to happen?

Horror descends

As if that weren't enough, I went back to Cedar something Kids ... plenty of babies being kissed by kids but there's something a bit contrived all the same. So I click on their website ... blocked. Allo allo allo, what's this?

Next one has some nursery teacher going through all these actions ... rocking a baby (pretending) and suddenly, she's making satanist horned handsigns. Whaaaaa?  Whole thing is off, really off.

You know ... Disney, commercial hiring out of kids ... quite offputting the way YT is getting into this. All right, I have to play something so let's hope this isn't some cult: