[fear] crossing the bridge to courage

The Talking Bear has a piece today on overcoming fear:

There seems to be a troubling barrier between our weakness and our strength, our fortitude and our feebleness. How do we cross such a fearful obstacle hidden deep within the darkness of our souls? This battle between "I can" and " I can't" seems to rage day in and day out no matter what victories we possessed yesterday. I have learned to embrace that sick feeling that often rises up inside me, but as a father I find it very hard to teach my children to embrace such a matter.

Just for those who don't know, this man is an abseiling motorbike rider and all round daredevil, with a day job in some upper echelons of the legislature, as far as I can gather. So when he speaks of fear ... then I listen.

Some other quotes I like:

Cheri Huber: Every time we choose safety, we reinforce fear.

Dorothy Thompson: There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings.

Eleanor Roosevelt: You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

Isn't it interesting, looking back at this, that I've quoted three women? I think women have the added complication of facing lack of confidence as well [or building themselves up], whereas many men seem to have arrogance or confidence or both in abundance. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe the new woman is of the Brave New World. Maybe the New Man is a Snag or a Metro.

There is no shame in fear

Fear gives us our parameters and then it is a case of backing ourselves, our upbringing, our training, that which we keep inside and then confronting the bogeyman. It helps to have supernatural assistance in the struggle. I'm not brave but neither am I a coward - just somewhere on that bridge in the fog. My role in rugby was sometimes open-side flanker, the role I enjoyed most though I was too light to make it my own. From that came a basic rule I've always followed:

Moderation under threat is imbecility. Deflect attacks, conserve your energy, choose your own target, on your own terms and when you do attack, attack to kill, nothing lacking. 99% will only get you hurt.

Teach your children well

How do you teach your children courage, as the Talking Bear asks? I replied at his place that they learn it from your example, by them being beside you and brushing up against it. They feel your fear but also feel you overcome it.

Addendum

We were discussing this today and the points were made that fear is the unknown and courage can be weighing up the risks and deciding they're acceptable. It might not always be anything more intrinsic than that.