It might be true after all:
He may be incapable of seeing your shared past the way you do. Brain images have started to show that men and women use their brains in vastly different ways. For example, women use the left part of the amygdala — the part of the brain that creates emotional reactions to events — to put memories in order by emotional strength, meaning that something emotionally important to them (like a great first date a couple of months ago) will be ordered in front of what they ate for breakfast yesterday.
Men, however, use the right part of the amygdala to put memories in order. Traditionally, the right hemisphere of the brain is associated with the central action of an event, while the left hemisphere is associated with finer details. Translation: You’ll both remember your first date, but he might not remember the color of your sweater or the light rain that was falling that night. It doesn’t mean he was checked out; it just means he’s a guy.
The research might be tosh, it might be right.
If women are supposed to be so emotional, then why are they so calculating in love? Why is it more important that he does love her than in the emotional aspects of the experience, nice though they are? How is it that a woman cries for a week and then moves on to the next partner but the man phones her three months later and says, "I want you to know you ruined my life but we can still get back together if you like."
The love in a cottage question is an interesting one. Would it be more likely to be the man or the woman who'd be happy to live on no money in a cottage in the middle of the countryside, just the two of them forever? Similarly, who writes most of the flowery love poetry, full of protestations of eternal love and how that person would die for the other?
Which gender sees the relationship as a state? Having won the prize, that person can now sit back and relax. Which gender sees the relationship as a growing thing, onwards and upwards? Which gender is supposed to be able to multitask?
James
ReplyDeleteYou do like to live dangerously:)
My "male" brain has enough to cope with just survivng the day, any extraneous tasks are dealt with on autopilot.
Angus, the remit of this blog is to live dangerously, to tackle topics and lobbies which are wrongly in the ascendant and put the minority view.
ReplyDeleteIt keeps the brain from atrophying but it does require copious amounts of coffee.
Actually, the more one looks at this male/female brain thing, the less convincing it is. There are definite behavioural differences between the sexes and ways of looking at things but the different brain idea I'm not sure about.
Read Simon Baron-Cohen's 'The essential difference: men women and the extreme male brain'. Its angled towards explaining autism/Aspergers but covers lots of stuff on differences between the sexes.
ReplyDeleteI don't think all women are calculating in love...or maybe I am just not good at it.
ReplyDeleteYou're right though, men dwell longer on break ups and they are the ones writinng the tear in the beer songs and 'my baby's left me 'poetry.
From a woman's brain,that's kinda gay, actually. :)
Whatever the actual differences in brains of the oppositely gendered, they are both caused and dwarfed by that devil testosterone.
ReplyDeleteI once watched a lady, dressed in her medical whites, triple glove herself before taking a very small vial of testosterone out of a refrigerator--with tongs. She explained that if I were to touch it there whould be no effect, but if she were to survive that event the result would be devestating. She didn't volunteer more than that.
Testosterone clearly accounts for male superiority (even if not mine)in things that do not at all require greater strength, like math, billiards, and burglary.
I know how envious the ladies become over this, so I won't say any more.
I am not very convinced by it either. I would say the brain develops over time and due to experiences. So if that was the case being put in a gender role at an early age may affect the brain in different ways.
ReplyDeleteSobers - shall try to find it.
ReplyDeleteUber - not all, that's true.
Xlbrl - that testeewhatever sounds pretty devastating.
Me Tarzan - you Cherie.
It's the level of testosterone in the mothers womb that makes the difference.
ReplyDeleteTest. vs estrogen.
Behavioural differences occur in very early infancy between male and female as a result of this, in otherwise identical upbringing scenario.
Many female babies show a vaginal discharge immediately after birth, arising from a final slug of female hormone donated by the mother.
Thus female babies TEND to have an early growth advantage
Really Higham! Here's a lesson in love: Ignore them; they hate it. If one leaves you, forget her and don't call. When she calls you three months later reply 'and you are?'
ReplyDeleteHmmmnnn.. Not sure how much credence to give this sort of thing. It often seems to bring out ignorance, prejudice and fixed ideas.
ReplyDeleteDo I see some bristling attitude? A tiny hint of misogyny?
The fact is we are not all perfect and some people hurt others when they are in relationships or breaking up.
Now for guys this generally means they may be bitter about a girl, for girls that they will generally be bitter about a guy. If guys compare notes with other guys it will seem that girls are mean. If Girls compare notes with girls then it is seems clearly the guys are at fault...
Vive la difference!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you define as misandry, Moggs and then what do you define as misogyny? :)
ReplyDeleteJames, Well to be entirely truthful it seemed to me I saw more evidence of misogyny.
ReplyDeleteIt's like pressing a button sometimes, out comes this... vitriol.
To be truthful I don't have much time for knee-jerk reactions like that from either direction.
Is it ok to be lazy and use the term in a non specific sense? Like the Italians do? Like you might say "actors" when you mean a group of actors and actresses, or hey you guys when you mean a group of males and females. The default is (why would you suspect otherwise) usually the male term ^_^.
I did hear it said the brain can to be an erogenous zone too.
Ciao ciao ragazzi.
The brain always amazes me! Mine is such a unique organ I should leave it to medical science! lol!
ReplyDeleteMoggs - I can't think for a minute you'd be misogynist.
ReplyDeleteMrs. N - delighted to see you. It would be unique, I'm sure.