[job hunting] from portsmouth to queensferry

This job hunting has some unexpected sidelights to it.

I was talking to a supermarket sub-manager about running his staffing programme when what looked like the young chap in charge of the produce section came through to the alcove where we were speaking and said that a customer had asked him for half a head of lettuce. Produce apparently told him they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

Produce then told the sub-manager the moron was causing trouble and at that moment, what was clearly the angry woman herself appeared, at which Produce turned round to her and said, "and this lady wants the other half."

The sub-manager asked me if I'd wait, smoothed it over and then told Produce, "That was impressive. We like people who think on their feet. You're from Portsmouth, right?"

"Right, sir, South Hayling," said Produce.

"Well, why did you leave Portsmouth?"

"There's nothing but tarts and footballers down there."

"Really?" the sub-manager said, while I cringed. "My wife comes from Purbrook!"

Produce replied, "Gosh - did she ever try out for Pompey?"