[stereotypes] cows explained

This is an oldie but a goodie, perhaps now outdated, perhaps not:

Christian Democrats: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

An American: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

Communism: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

Fascism: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

Feminism: You have two cows. You and your child have both and he gets nothing, the rapist. Zilch! Diddly squat!

European Union: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

An American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A French Corporation: You have two cows. You go on strike because you wanted three cows.

A Japanese Corporation: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoons and market them worldwide.

A German Corporation: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A British Corporation: You have two cows. They go mad. They die. You blame the government.

An Australian Corporation: You have two cows. You explain to them how to attach themselves to the self-milker, pack the zinc cream and head for the surf.

An Italian Corporation: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A Russian Corporation: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A Swiss Corporation: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A Brazilian Corporation: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

An Indian Corporation: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A Saudi Corporation: You have two cows. You sink a rig in both of them and charge the west outrageous prices for the milk.

An Israeli Corporation: You have two cows. You build a perimeter fence around them, mount the gun turrets and patrol day and night but you lose one cow when a Katyusha rocket takes her out. You rent a bull, follow the capitalist model and soon have a herd, losing only twelve calves a year to Iranian supplied weaponry.

A Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reports anything different.