[antarctic stayovers] see the ice melt

The Ritz Lockroy, Antarctica

Have you ever considered it?

Close to 30,000 people are expected to descend on Antarctica to observe penguins, seals and seabirds this year - about four times as many as 10 years ago. Tourists who pass through on vast liners without going ashore bring the total to 37,000.

With all the global warming, the Hilton Antarctica and Radisson Vinson Massif are just a melted glacier away. You can book now at:

Antarctic Stayovers

Dodgy Tours

Third cubicle on the left [between 23:00 and 23:15]

Heathrow Terminal 2 Western Toilet block [men's]

England

You won't be disappointed ... at first. Rumour has it that they're running Summer Stayovers in the Arctic Circle, just off Lappland.