[passion] not a bad rush last evening

I confess I don't understand atheism. At least I know it is denial and that's a very human reaction but it's all so pointless. Plus it suits a certain personage's book very nicely. I have no beef with that but I can also see the frustration of those who have been through the experience of last night and want others to share it.

I can fully appreciate Mutterings and Meanderings, who wished none of these so-called Christians to shove it down her throat and she has no argument from me. I'm no evangelist but that doesn't prevent me from writing of what I know.

When you've experienced the renewal which was last night, there is this human tendency to want to lay it on everyone else but 'everyone else' is not ready to receive it. And that's the thing.

There has to be a willingness to receive or else all argument is in vain. You need to want to know. I know because I went through it but that's as far as it can go. It's a bit like old men's tales of the war, I suppose. How could those who came after truly understand what it was like?

What was it like? Or rather, what was it about?

It was about power, pure and simple. Enormous, blinding power which passed closeby, then hovered all around and you only had to reach out and bathe in it. The power to dispel gloom, despair and darkness in the soul.

You know when you go to a certain hamburger chain and stuff yourself with burgers, fries, icecream and so on and yet you're not filled? Then hours later you go home and have soup, a large steak and vegetables, washed down with wine and water, followed by desert and tea or coffee?

That's what this thing was about. About fulfilment, about being satisfied. That's why Christians are so intolerable and even intolerant, the serene pack of bstds, as Douglas Adams would say.

Trying to find an analogy, maybe this is not such a good one, it being a holy day and all that but sex is as good as any. You put it about with this female or other [or vice-versa for the other gender] and there's a mechanical high and a hunger for more and more with more and more variety.

Or alternatively, you finally break through with the one you've been nuts over for some time and she finally accepts you and it surpasses all words. The mechanical is only one component of the whole thing, woven into a fabric of passion and oneness.

But it's more, like a cross between 2001, Doctor Who and Hitchhiker's Guide - the enormity of the universe, of creation and so on. Ian has only just written of this and he felt it. At least he felt the edge of it, through celluloid. He's skirting around the general area and I'm observing with interest the road he's on.

That's the closest I can get to describing it. And you know it's right. You know it because amazing power radiates outwards and it's as good as any acid rush or maudlin drunken peace with the world. Actually, it's better.

That's it. You want it, it's there. Why can't you? It's all in your mind.

Footnote: Do you realize that this year, the Roman and Orthodox Easters came together for the first time in a very long while? Significant.