The way it should beWhen I was in my early twenties, I loved rambling and there was a sober-minded, intellectual girl I hiked with and that was all. We were friends.
One Saturday morning I collected her from her home [where she lived with her mother] and we went into the forest, left the car and climbed a tor, as we’d planned. Once there, we got out the makings of lunch and casually, between mouthfuls, she told me she’d been raped at 2 o’clock that morning.
You can imagine the swirl of emotions running through the mind. But why was she here hiking now? Answer - rape doesn’t stop the body working. But aren’t you … er … in shock? Not really. You want to tell me? She told me. It had been on the way home from her evening class, he’d followed her and well …
But shouldn’t you be with the police, you know, giving statements and so on? How do you feel [stupid question]? Not good. As we fell silent, all sorts of questions suggested themselves but I didn’t ask them: how had her mother let her come with me today, how could she stand to be with me, how could she have finished with the police at 4 a.m. and then come with me at 9a.m.?
I did ask her if she’d have to go to court. No. But whyever not? The animal! She didn’t want to go through any of that. She just wanted to forget it. She’d been lucky physically. She told me about her rule that you never fight them. I got on to other topics. I somehow felt guilty to be part of the gender which had done this thing.
Actually, I didn’t have a clue how to deal with it or what to say. So I didn’t. I still don’t.
I wonder if that man went on to rape other women, how can they ever be stopped if women won't report it.
ReplyDeleteI suppose the girl's behaviour was indicative of the state of shock she was in. I hope it didn't haunt her for years but it probably did. I agree with Ellee. We have a duty to other women to report rape. A brave post, James.
ReplyDeleteA lot of the problem is with the court proceedings that will follow if a case is brought. One of my friends said that she was raped a couple of years ago - but she couldn't remember much because she was drunk. It didn't get to court. What was worst for me about it was that I had been out with her that night, and for weeks I had wished that I had done something different that might have prevented it.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to rape, as a society we have criminalised it so much that any woman (or man) that is raped is often given the same stigmatisation as the raper. Also, there is also the problem of the way that many young women dress causing that juries can think that she "asked for it", and too many young men who will take advantage if they get the chance, though very few intending to rape.
The law needs to defend both until conviction - no man should be open to abuse for supposedly raping until he is convicted of doing so. The law should protect both sides until at least the end of the trial.
'Provocative dress'. I think this is a bit of a myth, at least as far as trials in England and Wales are concerned.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I think this is that there are very strict rules on what can be introduced as evidence in rape cases -- the issues, after all, are normally identification and consent, so the only time then question of what the complainant was wearing may be introduced is when it's a matter of proving damage to her clothes in the attack or that the defendant's DNA is on them.
Moreover, any defence counsel who tried even to hint that 'she provoked him' would be shut up by the judge very quickly; the matter at issue is consent, and that's it.
As to the defendant's anonymity, I take Thunderdragon's point, but there is a problem. Do we want a situation where someone may be remanded in custody, possibly for several months, and it's illegal to report the fact (because if you allow the fact of his remand to be reported but have to say the charges can't be reported for legal reasons, it's going to be obvious what he's charged with)?
I suppose you could give him the choice, but I'm still uneasy with the implication.
Ellee, Welshcakes, Thunderdragon, you all have points about the reporting of and the eventual trial of. Notsaussure, you know generally I agree with you but not in this. To ignore the provocation or if the girls was drunk of her own volition - these are very much factors becasue they are often what decides the animals to do it. It doesn't vindicate them in most cases, as you point out but if it was an equally drunk guy in one-on-one, that is certainly a consideration.
ReplyDeleteAll I'm saying is that having set up a situation, one can't then go oand say: "The sole consideration is ..." In no other field of law is this so. Any circumstantial is admitted germane to the case.