[blogfocus saturday] taking the rest of the world to task

Never had the chance to wear one of these

Last of the three part series profiling bloggers who have either trangressed the unwritten rule or with whom I disagree. This evening it is the turn of the rest of the world:

1. Welshcakes is charged with exciting our sensibilities, with little chance of consummation:

Coming back with Simi from our walk, I suddenly "felt" that I didn't have it on any more, and, placing my hand on my neck, realised I was right. There was no sign of it as we retraced our steps, so a frantic search of jewellery box, dressing table, sides of sofa and chairs ensued. Then I "felt" something again. I looked down and there it was, inside my bra!

2. Meanwhile, Lady MacLeod is making us equally hot under the garments with her Hammanizing:

After another killer workout (I don’t know, sometimes I just get on a tear) I stripped down for the hamman thinking if it’s as good as last time that will be great. After this experience I have decided that when next someone ask me, “Why are you staying in Morocco,” the answer, “The hamman,” will suffice! Samira led me inside to the salon at the end of the hallway, so thick with steam I could not see the other walls and filled the wooden pail with warm water, then dumped it over my head and lathered me down with the black, thick, granular substance they use for soap.

3. Sean Jeating has made a grievous error speaking of G-d's wife when everyone knows, as the feminists have assured us, that G-d is a she:

Mr Ernest W. Chambers once again proves the importance of his being: The 70-year-old Senator of Nebraska (U.S.A.) sues God.

My closest friend Tetrapilotomos first reaction: "I am relieved Mr Chambers did not sue God's wife, too. The more I am looking forward to the trial. It would be interesting to see how Mrs. God manages the earthly affairs, while her husband is living behind bars in his own country."

The term "chain reaction" springs to mind.

4. I charge Maryam directly with making us green with envy about her exotic location:

And there are, ahem, other issues with this Casablanca B&B as well....The huge arrangements of fake flowers (oh why, oh why?) must go. The fountain in the entryway with no water must have a drink. The entire reception space must check into an interior design clinic for a facelift. The heavy, old fashioned draperies must be retired. The velvet and velour pillows and coverings everywhere (oh, gulp, those bedspreads) must be put away for all but a few cold months a year.

5. I'm counting Charles Robertson as non-UK rest of the world and take him to task for rank cynicism vis a vis politicians, whom we all know to be altrusitic and with the people's interests at heart:

Job cuts will only be a problem if the politicians cut the wrong ones. Unfortunately, they will be more likely to cut whole services rather than find efficiencies within them [...] Also, conveniently, cutting whole services makes better headlines. I would like to think politicians wouldn't hold public services to ransom like that, but it's hard to see what else Senator Le Sueur is doing here.

6. I challenge Cassandra, domiciled somewhere near the Mediterranean, to explain how one is "having a cold" - clearly cunningly designed to distract from the main import of her post:

Blogging will be limited the coming days. For one, I'm having a cold. But more importantly, I am playing surrogate mum to a two months old kitten called Vile Thomas Tripod. He's been hit in the street by something or other. One hind leg is broken and the nerves are severed. He's having surgery tomorrow. Number One Cat has never seen such a vile creature in her life, so a peaceful feline coexistence is probably not on the cards. I'll have to take a closer look at adoption.

7. Kizzie misunderstands the west if she thinks they're going to stop misunderstanding Africa, which they should:

There are a lot of overlooked small "good" things in Africa. When it comes to female representation in parliament, Rwanda ranks number 1. I wonder if this achievement in Rwanda is "good". Ghana remained one of the most peaceful countries in the world and the most peaceful in Africa although its neighbours are at war. Isn't Ghana a good example of a stable African country?

Wives are sometimes press-ganged into piracy.

8. Alas, dear Colin, a once noble mind, here o'erthrown:

There! That's what I think of ye. Before an hour's out, I'll stove in your old block house like a rum puncheon. Laugh, by thunder, laugh! Before an hour's out, ye'll laugh upon the other side. Them that die'll be the lucky ones. Avast belay, yo ho, heave to, and if we're parted by a shot, we're sure to meet below!

I'm sure we will, old chap and hope to meet you all too on Wednesday evening, assuming we'll not have walked the plank.