[the real ubermouth] little known facts

The fearsome reputation of the Ubertunes-playing nemesis of naughty people belies her early start to life:

One day whilst walking the one mile to school after a rainy night, I noticed that there was an earthworm on the road. Worried that it might get run over, I bent to pick it up and safely put it on the grassy verge.

But then there was another. And another. There were f*cking millions of them all wriggling dangerously in the road!

I got to school somewhere around 11:00 only to have to explain why I was late.

Carrie had nothing on Uber in her teenage years:

The girls would all talk about their boyfriends who they hoped to marry ( at 15!) I had yet to be kissed properly.Not saying I was a prude BUT I closed my eyes when I showered so I didn't see nudity- MY OWN! Funny, how after 30 ,you revert back to that.

Later in life, after various vicissitudes, she found an idyll of solitude:

We have a 7 acre private wildlife sanctuary my mother created in one of the fields. She feeds all the animals and harbours them from the neighbouring KILLERS, who illegally hunt them if they stray onto their properties. We have everything from pheasants and deer to rabbits,badgers and foxes to name a few.

It's not all roses though, especially where culinary differences crop up:

Mum:"Would you like a banana?"

Me( not being a monkey and all) " No, thank you. I don't like bananas"

Mum: " Go on, have a banana"

ME: " Mum! I just told you,I HATE bananas."

Mum: "Really? I love bananas" ( her being a monkey and all).

We go through this ritual EVERY single time she eats a banana- which is ALL the time!

So now we're approaching Christmas but Uber has a warning for you, as a public service, to save you before you invite someone dangerous down your chimney:

[Santa] is overweight, clearly exploiting Mrs. Claus's domesticity. He is a slave driver of vertically challenged people (okay! Midgets!) who are hardly top runners in the employment stakes. He is constantly doing B and E's all over the world( but why is he not on any frigging naughty list?)

He keeps secret files on all of us. He is quite the dictator in his unilateral decisions pertaining to what list we are relegated to. He doesn't even answer his mail! How rude!

No wonder he wears RED!

Remember, Ubermouth is only dangerous around a nest of vipers - her cloak then turns bright vermillion, her nutter-hypocrite detecting antennae twirl round at amazing speed and it might not be a good idea to cross swords - Lilith has nothing on her.

With humans though, she's a true friend, warm and fuzzy with a voice of honey and a penchant for saving defenceless earthworms and other oppressed creatures.

[friday] today will be a superb day

"Conviviality, good cheer, chicken tikka sandwiches, cappuccino, muffins, fish'n chips, snug as a bug in a rug, good cheer, pint of ale, bracing cup of tea, sympathy and affection, uproarious laughter, closing a deal, bonuses, early end to the working day, exquisite paintings, fine opera or ballet in the evening, lots of blog commenters, stimulating discussion, feeling of security, intriguing novel"

These are just some of the cheerful words for this Friday. Yours is surely going to be a good and it will set you up for a relaxing weekend. Good luck, all readers.

[blogspot lame] posting only at fifty percent power

For non-blogspot blogs, you might not be aware that for some days, Blogger has been partially down.

The trouble is that one can only post from the edit html mode, which is fine by me as I do that anyway but it has also restricted resizing of images and viewing in compose mode. Blogger's strange configuration also denies justifying text, whilst allowing italics.

Thus you were hit in the moosh by that large Palin photo in the last post and the tools are not currently operational to resize her downwards.

The situation is still not dire enough to revert to the Wordpress Nourishing Obscurity but if anything happens to Blogspot Nourishing Obscurity, that's where this blog will have gone.

[vice presidents] always the millstones

Always have been, always will be [at least until the face of politics as we know it is reconfigured 2009-12].

Remember Spiro Agnew? Remember Dan "Potatoe" Quayle?

So what's new with Biden and Palin, heartbeats away from the presidency of the "free" world?

[free enterprise] and living within our means

This post is about human behaviour. Bearwatch opens with:

Karl Denninger explains why he believes we are now in dire crisis. If the insolvent continue to be bailed out with money that the government itself must borrow from elsewhere, the American government's own credit will be destroyed.

This article, about gold, states that there are zero one ounce gold bars in North America at wholesale [at this time] but that every Central Bank on the planet lists gold bullion on their balance sheet as an “official reserve asset”.

There is apparently trading in gold going on between big players at prices way over the odds and it is being held by CBs as a hedge but none is available to Jo Public. Worse are the lies created by people who should know better than to explain this away.

Alan Greenspan said:

But the opposition to the gold standard in any form-from a growing number of welfare-state advocates-was prompted by a much subtler insight: the realization that the gold standard is incompatible with chronic deficit spending (the hallmark of the welfare state).

Deficit spending is simply a scheme for the confiscation of wealth [but gold] stands as a protector of property rights. If one grasps this, one has no difficulty in understanding the statists' antagonism towards the gold standard.

Stop and draw breath.

The government and the big finance have thrown paper money, whose only value is the government's word, into the economy at vastly greater book value than the solid assets in the country. In other words, the country is living almost entirely on credit.

Anyone knows that the way to act is to severely curtail such rash action and yet what are the people who have engineered this doing? They have their snouts in the trough, quangos being but one manifestation of it, completely at odds with how the rest of the society is suffering and what's more - not giving a damn.

The excesses are obscene.

This is the third great crime against humanity, along with making obscene profits from this collusion and corruption, the first crime being the knowledge that this was coming, the complicity, together with the feigned incompetence and the second crime - that these people, who should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law, are in fact increasing their wealth and personal security as we read.

The fourth crime is the whole panoply of anti-people legislation which not only criminalizes the citizen but prevents him from trading his way out of trouble and leaves the whole family at severe personal risk of losing all it has built up over time.

The difference between this time round and 1929-1945 is that this time there is a collective consciousness, thank goodness, a slow dawning of understanding, of who is actually to blame.

I think it is a measure of how worried the criminals are that they are surrounding themselves with these defences so vehemently. This time round, the people know and that is a very frightening prospect.

Waiting to pounce on the new Weimar Republic are the state socialists who would use strongarm tactics and messianic solutions to what is actually very simple - cut a swathe through over-regulation to free up enterprise for the small businessman, let him trade his way out and allow prices to once again find a true market value.

That's the way out, not the artificial solution to the artificial crisis which will be propounded in 2009-11.

[blogfocus thursday] seven classic lines

Liz Hinds: I don't think a new computer should have surrogate anythings. My tin-opener has also gone missing.

Morgan Hen: Our heritage is more than just a couple of "celebrity " names such as Caerphili Castle, or even Cardiff.

Guthrum: Lets face it if you were not in this photo of neo-medievalists you are not going anywhere in the next ten years in terms of influence.

Calum Carr: For some reason, a few minutes ago, these lyrics popped into my head. A very rare occurrence this: swear words often float in but not lyrics.

Dave Cole: To that end, I very much support the idea of introducing A Bill for the more effective prevention of unicorns.

Charon QC: Don’t mess with a Rothschild….

Tiberius Gracchus: Spurius Maelius had, according to Livy, attempted to use food as a weapon to bring down the Roman Republic.