Just finished watching "300" and decided to do a
Gracchi here. Now I realize this battle has been much on your minds lately so it's time to rush you the post-mortem.
You know, of course, that the
Chili Con Carne Festival had almost cost the Battle of
Marathon, when the Spartans couldn't leave home and arrived late and now, when
Xanadu decided to try his luck one more time by building some ridiculous bridge called
Hell's Pont, which he then ordered beaten with sticks, the Spartans were forbidden to travel and so the free world had a little problem on its hands.
Not to worry.
King Leonardo [da Vinci] gathered a bodyguard of 300 interestingly dressed men and had a cunning plan. He'd defend the pass of
Thermalundies, which was only 20 men wide and so could rest his rear end and generally get into the blood, gore and slaughter thing up front, piling the Persian bodies sky high in a wall.
Nice people.
They fought really well, the Geeks, forming their shields into a
Phallus and preventing the assault from hurting them but then the deformed
Eponymous Tracheotomy betrayed them to Xanadu by showing him a back passage behind the Geeks and that was the end of the ball game.
The Geeks did go down after that, initially at least but Xanadu who, as a God-warrior king-type, proved himself no sailor, lost his fleet and the conquest of Europe was over.
There were some great lines in this saga and an awful lot of rhetoric. When Leonardo was asked by his wife
the Gorgon what she should do while he was away, he said, "Marry a good man," and when asked to lay down his arms, he answered, "Come and get them." When told that the Persian arrows would "block out the sun", he answered, "we shall fight in the shade."
You have to admire his sense of humour really.
Pot of chili sauce for the Con Carne Festival