[quote quiz] five by two

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The task

There are ten quotes here. Five people spoke or wrote all ten, two each. Try to match them:

1 I like a man who grins when he fights.

2 You never know what your history is going to be like until long after you're gone.

3 I am not young enough to know everything.

4 America is the land of the second chance - and when the gates of the prison open, the path ahead should lead to a better life.

5 Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

6 Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.

7 I’ve spent a lot of time searching through the Bible . . . for loopholes.

8 A man can be happy with any woman as long as he does not love her.

9 Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

10. When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.

The authors

a] Groucho Marx, b] WC Fields, c] Winston Churchill, d] Oscar Wilde, e] George Bush Jnr

The answers

1c, 2e, 3d, 4e, 5b, 6a, 7b, 8d, 9a, 10c

[winter solstice] 'tis the season of goodwill

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In an earlier post, your humble correspondent wrote:

My whole current mentality is a siege mentality - to prevent being dragged into things.

Interesting then that this morning I was dragged into an issue that I have neither the time nor the inclination for at this exhausted time of year. It was done very cleverly, in such a way that I had no choice but to respond swiftly. Trouble is that no one else is remotely interested either.

It's a great pity that that had to happen because apart from that blot on the landscape, today has been fabulous. The panorama out there has to be seen to be believed and it's a further pity that I don't currently possess a camera to bring you shots of it.

The temperature is mild and the snow is lightly falling in big, soft flakes - but constantly. Roads are lined with mounds of vivid, glitening snow and the overall effect is of a hard-packed piste sculpted in a sort of tableau vivante, [if one can sculpt one of those].

Even further - I managed to pick up 12 James Bond DVDs dirt cheap and these include the first three Brosnan pieces I've been dying to see but could never find - until now.

Further even than that - today was "ladies day" and "Min Day" combined. Much cognac was imbibed and goodwill abounded. The last lady has just departed now. The hush outside and inside here in this warm room is so restful that I'd best et this posted and the quiz before Higham drops off into an inelegant snooze.

As Sean, of Omnium might say: "The Peace of the Night".

[russia-britain-europe] like the steps of a dance

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First the news:

The European Union has called on Russia to reconsider its order to shut down two British Council offices. The Russian government said this month that the offices in St Petersburg and Yekaterinburg had broken laws, including tax rules.

In a statement, the EU expressed its concern, citing the importance of culture in the "EU-Russia partnership". Relations between Britain and Russia have worsened dramatically since the London murder of Russian exile, Alexander Litvinenko, in November 2006.

Some comments

This is more complex than it at first appears. It involves alliances and written agreements. It also flies in the face of attempts to create good relations. Any Russia-watcher would know that when an article like this appears in Pravda, then this is a fair barometer of government intention overall.

It is essential that Russia listens to Europe and yet bilateral agreements should be exempt from being tied into other issues. In practice, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

Britain thinks Russia was out of order to bump off Litvinenko within Britain. And yet this has not been proved and further, this man and others like Berezovsky were using their privileged status behind their British immunity to attack Russia.

America was faced with the same situation in Cuba. Would they have been justified in attacking the missile sites in Cuba? This is not the same question as whether they would have been justified in invading Cuba. The question is: "How far is a nation justified in eliminating a threat to its security, especially when that threat is hidden behind a host nation's immunity?"

This is the question behind Al Qaeda, behind Gaddafi and Lockerbie, behind Iraq, behind Iran.

And who is in the best position to judge a nation's security interests? Is it that nation itself or that of the people within the country from whence the threat is coming? Example - imagine that a group of Brits in, say, Holland, are hell bent on hurting Britain's interests by stymying trade deals, security cooperation and whatever else between Britain and Holland.

Holland acts to protect these elements. How far would Britain be justified in intervening? Leaving aside the wrongs and rights of the issue itself, surely Realpolitik dictates that somewhere down the track there'd be a lot of aggravation involving alliances and commitments to assist.

Whilst neither Britain nor Holland would desire this state of affairs, international conventions would dictate that things must proceed along certain lines. So both sides would foresee worsening relations but what choice would there be, when those elements being protected in Holland are continuing to harass and nobble Britain?

As a Brit, naturally I see our point of view. Living here so long and being on terms with certain people in government here, I see the other side too. What I can't see is an immediate solution to the issue.

Thoughts on the map at the top

The map is what Europe might have looked like today if the Nazis had, in fact, won. It can be seen that both the United Kingdom and Russia are unresolved issues. From historical documents, it appears that Britain would have enjoyed semi-autonomous status, not unlike what they will have when the EU formally takes over in 2010. This would undermine British nationalists' ability to muster and motivate anti-union forces.

Russia is another matter. The view here is that there was no doubt Germany intended to subjugate the Russians and use them as slave labour, the less useful going to the gas chamber. Hence the added piquancy to their resistance at Stalingrad. They were, in their own eyes, fighting for survival or oblivion. Churchill's own warning.

In Britain, this would possibly not have been the case and the noted sympathies between the aristocracy in Britain and the Nazi machine, which have been commented on so negatively, might have been a softening factor in Nazi eyes.

It seems more likely that the disintegration of the Nazi Empire might have begun within Germany itself. Interesting topic.

[captain matchbox] my wahine in wang

This one's going to take quite some setting up.

In Australia, there's a road connecting Melbourne and Sydney [about 880 km] and it varies from four lanes each way, down to a single lane [at least it did in the mid '80s]. Naturally, there is heavy transport the whole time along the legth of the highway and also naturally, there are truck-stop cafs.

These tend to be beside the road in one horse towns, with one pump and one caf. The women serving in such cafs tend to be, well, what's the most polite term, not of the highest social strata? Plus they're Australian country and Australian country tends to be fairly ... er ... down to earth.

The husbands tend to be largish and inclined to think a little more simply than the city slicker, on average. They like things to be straightforward and have interesting ideas on decor, such as plastic palm trees in tubs.

OK, so into this we have a band travelling this highway - the Hume Highway - in their psychedelic van. But not just any band - a Melbourne inner-city comedy routine whose lead singer, calling himself Microphone Conway [real name Mick], a short, slender youth with slicked-back black hair and "city" written all over him, has a penchant for lounge crooning, a la combo.

Not only that but the whole band wear hawaiian outfits and sing of 'wahines" - Hawaiian for Polynesian women or goddesses. Lastly, we have the name of the town - Wangaratta - often shortened to Wang and this might be the reason the band was there at all [although the song below was performed pre-1990].

The sparks, therefore, fly and that's the subject of this little number. It's quite typical Australian humour, which is not always obvious and can be quite as dry as British humour at times. As for the bunny with the harmonica - Oestrebunny eat your heart out [or have a carrot].

Enjoy.

[dysfunction] can strike at any time

Wonder why.

I always have [had?] the opposite problem. Can be quite an embarrassment at times, say in the fitness club when the lady trainer comes over to assist with your bench work.

[scots rule] listen to yer countrymen, broonie

Absolutely adore this one. Toque reports.

How very, very, embarrassing for Gordon Brown - the Scottish Parliament voted last night to demand a referendum on the EU Constitution.

The SNP and Scottish Tories said Mr Brown had treated the British public with “contempt” for failing to have a referendum before signing the treaty.

Hee, hee! May I share with you my experience of the Scots? In my early sportsmaster days, I tried to organize a Games at our school and invited members of many communities to join us - the Irish, South African, French, Italian and so on.

The idea was that they come and demonstrate a game or activity especially of their culture. I was hoping for some Welsh singing. We had a good response from all nationalities except the Scottish.

It wasn't that they were unwilling. As the spokesperson for the highland games explained to me on the phone, they just weren't talking to each other and so couldn't get organized.

Who couldn't get organized? The families, laddie, the clans. There was a feud running at that time. Instead, he gave me a whole lot of phone numbers for the various families and suggested I phone them individually and the very best of luck.

So the Scots ended up not being represented. I do love the Scots - interesting from an English Nationalist, isn't it? Except for Brown. He should be sent to Elba.