[life of brian] monday morning prayer

Judaean People’s Front or People’s Front of Judaea

It’s a tragedy that the only image people have of a Christian, the only image which makes it to the press, is of the radical US Christian Right and the Whitehouses over in Britain. It poses a dilemma because on the one hand, much of what they say makes sense – against the institutionalization of drugs, under-age sex, perversion and so on.

On the other hand, so many of these are either unpleasant or susceptible to mockery as people and the Jimmy Swaggarts of the world are so counter-productive as to have been almost ‘intended’. My image is far more grass roots – the Alex of High Places and Vox Days of the world. They can have a laugh, be a bit irreverent, just live a bit. Why do they have to all be stern faced, bible-bashing disapprovers?

I really can’t handle blind ‘followers’, ‘zealots’, ‘devotees’, whom I lump in with the PC left – these people would regulate your toilet-going hours if it wasn’t tolerant and all-inclusive.

Does G-d have a sense of humour? That should be the burning question on everyone’s lips. You remember the scene where Brian of Nazareth loses his sandal while running from the crowd of would-be Messiah-makers in the Judaean desert? Says everything about zealots:

Man in crowd III: He has given us a sign!
Man in crowd V: He has given us...his shoe!
Man in crowd III: The shoe is the sign! Let us follow his example!
Man in crowd IV: What?
Man in crowd III: Let us like him, hold up one shoe and let the other one be upon our foot, for this is his sign that all who follow him shall do likewise!
Man in crowd III: No, no, no, the shoe is a sign that we must gather shoes together in abundance!
Woman in crowd II: Cast off the shoes! Follow the gourd!
Man in crowd V: No, let us gather shoes together! Let me!
Woman in crowd: Oh, get off!
Man in crowd IV: No, no, it is a sign that like him we must think not of the things of the body, but of the face and head!
Man in crowd V: Give me your shoe!
Man in crowd IV: Get off!
Woman in crowd II: Follow the gourd, the holy gourd of Jerusalem!
Gourdy part of crowd: The gourd! The gourd!
Man in crowd VI: Hold up the sandal, like he has demanded us...
Man in crowd III: It is a shoe! It is a shoe!
Man in crowd VI: It's a sandal!
Man in crowd III: No, it is not! It is a shoe!
Woman in crowd II: Cast it away!
Man in crowd III: Put it on!
Man in crowd IV: Now clear off!
Man in crowd V: Take the shoes and follow him!
Woman in crowd II: All thee who follow the gourd!
Man in crowd VII: Stop! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Let us...let us pray! Yea, he cometh to us. Like the sea to the grave...

Let us pray: Save us, Lord, from all door-knockers, tele-evangelists and thou-shalt-notters and grant them all a sense of humour, if you would be so kind. Amen.

[blog round-ups] in case you still don’t know

Britblog Roundup

Needs no introduction to old-timers but there might still be some Blogpowerers and others who don’t know about this. Plus two of the BPers are in it this week. I called it a breakthrough but Tim put me straight on that. You have to nominate a particular post to him at britblog AT gmail DOT com, then he posts it.

Being of the opinion that every bit helps, this ‘creaking old warhorse’, as fresh as the day it was born, can be checked out late on a Sunday afternoon.

Scottish Blogging Roundup

Have to confess I don’t know a lot about this one but I recognize many of the entries. It's run by CuriousHamster and doctorvee, the latter whom I know quite well and presumably it works on the same principle as Tim Worstall’s. It appears to be posted on a Saturday.

[euthanasia] thou needst not strive, officiously …

I appreciate how Tony Sharp lightened the tone when he said:

It may seem shocking to some people, but after a lot of thought and soul searching I have come to the conclusion that in some extremely limited circumstances there is indeed a strong moral justification for euthanasia. More specifically I am thinking of one circumstance in particular. Namely any occasion when the draft EU constitution shows signs of life.

Of course he was referring to the EU but I misread that and wrote a comment about euthanasia itself and when that topic comes up, the question of my own mother comes up. I’ve stewed, many times, over whether to post on her and have always held back on the grounds that it’s a little close to the bone for most readers and it drags her story out of the family and into the public sphere.

It was not that ‘E’ word in her case but it was a case of there not being any point any longer. So, I believe it was with full knowledge that that which was supporting her … well, I think you understand. I’ve never ever thought that that was wrong. She was then and I am now quite pragmatic over such matters and I have no desire to prolong my stay when I’m quite clearly past my time, just as I have no desire to overstay my welcome in any situation now.

I just felt that Sunday was the appropriate day to write this thing, if at all.

[sunday quiz] today’s ten are a little harder

1] How many counters does a player start with in Backgammon?

2] Who was John Kerry's running mate in the 2004 US Presidential election?

3] After how many years marriage do you celebrate your Emerald wedding anniversary?

4] Contrary to popular belief, brides do not walk down the aisle to the altar. What do they walk down?

5] Europeans are familiar with A-4 size paper. What is the area of A-0 paper?

6] In Roman numerals, what is the letter M with a bar over it?

7] What is the Turkish custom of Falaka?

8] Who is Bibendum better known as?

9] Who won the 1936 'Miss Hungary' title but had to give it up because she was under 16?

10] Where would you find together a verso and a recto?

Answers are here.

[retail jungle] one false step and you’re gone

Surely with a touch of sour grapes, Marshall Lester, a Gap director from the 1980s recently said, "Gap has gone from being a destination store that everyone wants to shop at to being a store that no one cares about."

But the slow demise of Gap, the global retailer of ‘modish nonchalance’, mirrors the turning of the tide for other giants as well.

No one is suggesting McDonald’s is in any kind of trouble but the 2002 watershed and the rethinking of future strategy shows that no giant is immune from a change of fortune and in K Mart’s case, the demise was spectacular.

The Sony/Nintendo story is a case in point. Choosing the wrong video variant, Beta, Sony recovered, then came the copy protection scandal and then the battery problem. There’s something not right at that company.

Apple were down and out before ipod but even now, things are changing and the iphone may be needed to keep the ipod afloat. One company I see in real trouble is Microsoft, as more and more abandon it for a decent provider and a reaction of disgust really seems to be setting in with not only geek operators.

Marks and Sparks are a good case study. With a strong menswear division, it failed to read the signs and lost market share, then threw ideas at buyers which failed to enthuse. Perhaps it's found its lifeline in online sales.

It’s a gossamer thread which suspends a company at the top of the tree and one or two decisions can create a K Mart type over-reaction which will kill it more quickly than anyone could have anticipated.

[testimonials] numbers 21 to 30

21] An Insomniac Sporting David Hume’s tagline: “Truth springs from argument amongst friends,” Matt Murrell, the goatee bearded blogger from … well, no one knows where from, he keeps it a dark nocturnal secret … and who invites you to click on his face, is a fearless writer, counting Fisking Central and Wall of Speech as two of his regular haunts; he’s a central Blogpowerer and he’s also guest-blogged at Dave Hill and Alex of High Places. The boy gets around. It’s not unfair to describe him as a libertarian – he certainly takes fairly freewheeling positions on most issues, including the Blogpower issue and has a sense of humour, as when he described his efforts at Fisking Central as: “It's a little rushed, and I think I started channeling Rumpole of the Bailey at one point, but still worth a look.” Just as his own blog is well worth a look. Well worth returning to, in fact.

22] Andrew Allison Labelling himself a ‘liberal conservative’, keen on small government and personal freedom, Andrew is very much of my way of thinking on most issues. A Witanagemot Club member and therefore for an English Parliament, not to my way of thinking, he takes a libertarian stance on most issues but one wonders how he'd apply this to driving instruction in Hull and for how large a road transport vehicle. One also wonders if he prefers the term Humberside or East Yorkshire. One thing for certain, he’s a fine and fearless blogger and should be on everyone’s list.

23] As a dodo What a great concept – to write obituaries of all the things which are dead, buried and gone, from freedom of speech through to Denny Doherty, the Mamas and Papas singer. Writer and dramatist George Poles, writer Simon Littlefield of Sky Pirates music blog and Hugo Kent of A Message from Albia, have a concept but unlike many great angles which go the way of all things, they infuse information and humour into their blog, which they tag: “the obituaries you’d like to see” and the result is a necro-treat. Whether it’s heterosexuals hiding the sausage in the English Counter Reformation or the death of Branscombe Beach, Dead as a Dodo is right on the scene. Go to it rightly, lads.

24] Bel is thinking Bel is a Margaret-nostalgic, non-imbibing university law-lecturer who appears to support her gender, as all right thinking ladies should, whether it’s anxiety over Cherie Blair’s safety or taking Samuel Coleridge to task for neglecting his daughter’s poetry. She describes her posts as ‘rants’ but I see them more as ‘common sense with an edge’. Always with a keen sense of justice and bemoaning the absurdity of over-reaction, e.g. with Jade and with the Devon ‘salvaging’, Bel tells it as it is and shoots from the hip. Fine blog.

25] Chicken Yoghurt From the blog title itself to the everchanging animations at the top of the page, NCTJ qualified journalist and writer Justin McKeating is clearly an A-lister with a dark sense of humour. Hailing from the north but tied down in Brighton and reputedly of a politically leftist perspective, Justin explodes pomposity, underhand doings and general woolly-headedness wherever it is found, like barrels of gunpowder in a parliamentary cellar on the 5th of November. The Blog Digest is his must-buy collection of the very best of the UK blogs and one of his own blogs from the past, Bar Room Philosophy, brings to mind our own Pub Philosopher. Clearly a comic book devotee, one wonders what strange directions that sizzled brain will drift towards as he prepares his next rip-snorting expose.

26] Corporate Presenter Articulate and friendly, with a very keen sense of social responsibility and sociability, the East Finchley public speaker and radio presenter Jeremy Jacobs' sense of humour is also revealed through his blog work, such as in I can't talk, I'm on the Blog. Having grown up in Margate, [where I was very nearly employed in the late eighties], before inexplicably leaving that resort for London, he tragically lost his sister to breast cancer and has been supporting the Breast Cancer Campaign ever since, embarking in early February, 2007 on a trek in the Maasai Mara in Kenya to raise funds for the campaign. In the words of A Young Conservative, “I think it is safe to say that he's an inspiration to us all.” Read this blog for, as the Tin Drummer said: “a fascinating mix of presenting, media, politics and humour.”

27] Onyx Stone A gem of a blog, [couldn’t resist it, sorry], tech-savvy computer scientist Onyx, with an eye for the ladies, is a libertarian par excellence, as well as music devotee, always with an eye for the absurd. He also writes 5-7-5 syllabled Haiku poems. As his recent involvement in the great Blogpower War has shown, he can also be a bit naughty but after all, what’s blogging for? This is definitely a blog out of the ordinary and in our game, a knowledgeable dude like this, who challenges our way of thinking is good to have close at hand.

28] Blognor Regis Bob Piper calls him a “twat” and that immediately elevates Blognor Regis into the stratosphere of uber-blogging. With Iain Dale’s further [genuine] approval, this then is a blog to scrutinize closely. Not averse to the female of the species, BR also sports a jaundiced sense of humour but I wouldn’t want you to get the idea he has a one track mind. Keen Blognor Regis Cycling Club racers have far more to do around Felpham and Middleton - BR takes a keen interest in the local area and by definition, in local bloggers as well. With humour like his comment greeting: “You are the audience. I am the author. I outrank you,” replies to commenters on musical bands like: “I've seen better bands on a cigar!” and with pieces on anything from Buster Crabbe to weighty matters in India, this blog is a must read for the afficianado.

29] Disillusioned & Bored The canine with the ennui at the top of the blog gives an indicator of what is to come and D&B further explains that he “can't stand the level of debate that is passed off as real political discourse.” He it was who began the Voluntary Code Free Zone, whose banner adorns all the best sites today and the list of his readers reads like a who’s who of blogging. A wicked, yet puerile sense of humour, of the doctored photo variety, guarantees a loyal band of avid readers but the bulk of the posts reveal a shrewd commentator on current events and past. So stop off for a treat at this blog, if you’re feeling at all disillusioned and bored by it all.

30] Daily Pundit "Yo Churchill!" he cries and UK Daily Pundit is off in hot pursuit of the unspeakable. Master of the short grab news item, UKDP’s views are made abundantly clear in his petition to Tony, demanding the right to “remain free to comment on government policy, ministerial decisions, political correctness, Islamic extremists, the weather and anything else that takes our fancy, without fear of censorship.” With post tags like “Times Forced to Apologise Over Gay Sheep,” you know you’re in for an irreverent but incisive treat, three or four times a day. With the three column, fully armed lists of sources to draw from and his own Blog-web-round-up facility, this makes the law enforcing UK Daily Pundit a must-not-miss daily read.