Tuesday, March 11, 2008

[from indonesia with love part 2] to be a woman

All photos are Wiki

Decided to run the whole text of Santi's. This was what she had on her own site and then she translated it for me:

Saya menghormati kaum pria. Bahkan berniat untuk mencintai satu pria nantinya. Bagi saya, pria adalah seperti layaknya hakim yang memimpin pengadilan, presiden yang memimpin suatu negara, dan semacamnya. Pada intinya, pria-lah yang sudah ditakdirkan untuk berada di barisan paling depan. Mengendarai kuda putih dengan sebilah pedang di tangan kanan dan seikat mawar untuk saya di tangan kirinya.

I respect men. I even still have an intention to love one of them for good one day. On my perspective, a man is just like a judge that leads a court, a president that leads a country, or things alike. A man is destined to stand in front. With his white horse and sword on his right hand, and a bucket of rose for me on his left hand.

Pada akhirnya, saya akan berlindung di balik jubahnya. Saya akan bersandar di pundaknya dan akan menyambut uluran tangannya.

At the end, I'll be safe behind his sheild. I will lay on his shoulder and took his helping hand.

Pria adalah kekuatan, sejatinya kekuatan. Dari tangannya bisa tercipta sebuah rumah yang kokoh dan nyaman sebagai tempat berlindung. Pria juga adalah sebetulnya tulang punggung yang menyangga wanita dan keluarganya. Coba bayangkan kalau badan anda tidak ada tulang punggung.

A man is a strength itself. From his bare hands, he could build a house as a safe shelter. A man is also the backbone which is a brace for his family and his woman. Could you imagine if your body doesn't have a backbone?

Saya mengagumi ke-logis-an alam pikiran pada pria. Betapa pria dapat mengambil keputusan dengan menggunakan “kalkulator” pikirannya tanpa dipengaruhi tangisan cengeng. Saya pun mengagumi taktik mereka dalam menyikapi hidup, serta kekerasan hatinya yang menurut saya melambangkan kegagahan. Saya mengagumi pria, itu pastinya.

I adore the logical way of thinking on men. How they could make a logical decision with their "calculator" sense without being effected with tear drops. I admire their tactics on life, also their resoluteness, which I always thought that it symbolized the masculinity of men.

Lalu bagaimana dengan wanita? Terlepas dari sebuah fakta bahwa saya adalah seorang wanita, pun saya mengagumi sifat-sifat kewanitaan yang seorang wanita miliki. Wanita adalah selayaknya benang. Halus dan lentur. Sekarang bayangkan jika pakaian yang anda kenakan sekarang adalah dari kayu, bukan rajutan benang.

Then, how about women? Aside from a fact that I'm a woman myself, I also adore the femininity on women. A woman is like a thread. It's soft and flexibel. Now, could you imagine if the clothes that you were wearing right now are made from woods?

Untuk merobek-robek pakaian pun tidaklah segampang menjatuhkan kaca atau mematahkan kayu. Wanita identik dengan kehalusan perasaan dan emosi-emosi yang justru dibutuhkan oleh pria. Wanita juga akan terus bergelut dengan perasaan-perasaannya, itu pastinya. Moderennya, wanita akan mencoba merasionalkan apa yang dirasakannya. Yang membuat fatal adalah, jika perbandingan yang digunakannya adalah pria. Kenapa pria bisa begini dan begitu. Kenapa pria bisa. Lalu “kita”?

To tear apart clothes is not as easy as to break a glass or a piece of wood. A woman is identified by her feelings and emotions that is needed by a man. A woman will always have to deal with her feelings/emotions, that's for sure. What I feel right now is that a woman will always try to use her "rational" way of thinking on her feelings. What makes it fatal is when she's using a man as her comparison. Why men are able to do this. Why they can. Then, how about "us"?

Salah satu sifat sejati seorang wanita, baik itu di kota dan di desa, dari kutub ke kutub, adalah pecemburu. Selamanya, wanita akan mendeteksi yang manakah lawan dan kawan. Wanita juga sudah ditakdirkan untuk menjadi seorang penyelidik ulung. Hanya wanita yang bisa secara alami dan naluriah mendeteksi intonasi-intonasi kebohongan, raut wajah dan gerak-gerik lawan. Jika anda (pria) pernah terheran-heran karena pasangan anda pernah mengungkapkan kebohongan anda, maka anda pasti mengerti maksud saya. Hal ini bukanlah karena sihir si Nirmala atau jampi-jampi Mbah Dukun. Tapi ini adalah sifat alami wanita, seorang pendetektor ulung alami yang bermodalkan sensor di otaknya yang tajam.

One of the real character of a woman, whether she lives in a city or a pedestrian, from east to west, is jealousy. A woman will always seek and detect for friends or enemies. A woman is a true detective as she could detect a lie hidden in the intonation of voice, mimic, and other body language. Don't be surprised if your woman could always tell when you're lying. It's not her spells or black magic, but this is her natural instinct. A senser in her brain.

Mencemburui wanita idaman lain dari pasangannya itu masih terbilang wajar. Tapi terasa janggal jika wanita mencemburui pria. Seperti piring yang cemburu dengan gelas. Janggal bukan?

To get jealous because of another woman of her spouse is understandable. But it seems awkward when a woman get jealous of what a man has. Don't you think so? It's like a plate got jealous of a glass.

Merenungi ketiga artikel yang saya sebutkan di atas tadi, lantas terpikirkan oleh saya, apakah sudah semakin banyak wanita (dan pria) yang kehilangan jati dirinya? Seorang ibu yang rela mencari figuran utama untuk ditempatkan di rumahnya, seorang suami yang menyalahgunakan kekuatan fisiknya, dan seorang wanita yang cemburu berat dengan pria.

I was thinking, have women (and men) lost their identity? A mother who is willing to find for her substitute her house, a husband who misuses his strengh, a woman who is jealous of what a man has.

Wanita justru semakin indah dan bersinar karena kehalusan hatinya. Dan pria justru akan semakin terlihat seperti ksatria berkuda putih saat ia dapat menggunakan kekuatannya untuk melindungi.

A woman will become more beautiful and shining for her softness. A man will become more like a knight on white horse when he uses his strength to protect.

- Santi

Sigh. If men love through their eyes and women through their ears, which do you need to read a blogpost? Can you imagine certain western women writing anything like this? Others could do it easily. The world is a wonderful place.

- Higham


Nunyaa said...

"A woman will become more beautiful and shining for her softness. A man will become more like a knight on white horse when he uses his strength to protect."
This brought tears to my eyes and took me to a faraway place, Paronella Park.

Verlin Martin said...

Don't think I know any western women that would write that.

The post basically puts men out in front of women and we know that won't happen here.

anastasiarta said...

Hello, James Higham (or Bretwalda Edwin-Higham)
Wow, I assume this writing is truly an honor to a woman's thought (especially Indonesian/asian women's thought). I hope the feedbacks are well like you took it =)

p.s Saya keinginan kebahagiaan Anda juga ( Thanks for your comment too :) )

jmb said...

A very romanticized, idealistic point of view, just like the Age of Chivalry. Obviously one I do not share, but thanks for sharing it with us.

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

An alternative explanation is that here is a woman with her head screwed on right.

Wolfie said...

Interestingly enough this is pretty much the philosophy my wife holds, idealistic it may be but her devotion inspires me to do everything I can not to ever let her down.

Everyone must compromise according to their individual needs but you must have a firm ideal to start with.

Not that I'm some reactionary Neanderthal, prior to meeting her I had long term relationships with women who were single-minded career women such as fund managers and brokers, I was happy with that status quo too. It was they who were never happy, wanting new-man one minute and cave-man the next according to mood. As far as I know they are unhappy with their new men too but never with enough humility to ask if they are happy with themselves in the first place.

Find your own path to happiness, nobody else can do it for you.


Sure the author's a woman?

Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Sackers - even as I write here she and I were just discussing her photo. No man could say what she says.

Wolfie - don't get anxious about this but I picked up on this with your wife immediately - just how good she was.

Santi represents the extreme in western eyes but at least we're seeing some good models of womanhood presented.

I adore it when the woman brings out all the best traits in the man so that instead of being sick to death of the constant whining about oppression, you actually want to protect her from any oppression.

You'd be too terrified to lose such a gem.

Santi said...

There are hundreds of good reasons to tell why a woman should love herself as a woman. One thing for sure, that if she does, she'll love and respect a man.

And the same thing goes for a man.

I shared that story from what I saw in my country. We also have the same dilemma. But the difference is, this thing will never be the main issue in Indonesia. Because we believe that in the end, it is a woman who will deliver a baby and it is a man who will use his strength and logical way of thinking to protect us.

I don't expect much by translating this article to English. At first, I did it because someone asked me to. But I'm happy if this could bring benefits to you.

CherryPie said...

"A woman will become more beautiful and shining for her softness. A man will become more like a knight on white horse when he uses his strength to protect."

I love this :-)

& me I just think men and women should treat each other as equals and enjoy and explore our differences in thought.

Anonymous said...

Piffle from start to finish! I would be desperate to avoid this womans grasping neediness... stand up for yourself my dear don't ask some bloke to do it for you!! Would be my reply.

But I guess there is someone for everyone - and some sucker will fall for all that soft soap..

Febra said...

Hi James,

I already sent to your email. Sorry o delayed yhe email. I have a busy day.