Wednesday, March 28, 2007

[us] being alone versus loneliness

Isn't the blogosphere amazing? Despite the tat, the porn, the dire politicking, sometimes humanity breaks through and it's a reaffirmation of things good. I get a huge buzz when that happens, better than anything artificial.

Just found a blog by chance, Ruthie Zaftig, single mom, and it was her birthday. She posted on her day alone and concluded:

"Today, like most days, no one had occasion to speak to me. I've been at this school for a year and a half, and I still only know a handful of people. It never fails to amaze me how I can be surrounded by so many people and still feel so alone."

Ruthie, I have the opposite problem. I am speaking to hundreds each week and 50% are ladies your age [it's my work] and it's the same effect. I need to just get a break at the end, which is why I make it so difficult for anyone to reach me.

We have a triple system of doors and I've disconnected the domaphone and the bells to our place. I'm also protected by a 'grandmother army'. As I'm in the net, no one can get me by phone. I have no mobile. I'm alone but never lonely. It's all in the head, girl and you can be as alone or not as you choose.

There are people who want to know you but they're far flung. There is also the power of the blogosphere. Mine is a humble site but people do come to visit and if each one of them reading this were to visit you, and if some of our big guns like Ellee or Mr. E or Tea and Margaritas closer to home would also do that, it could get something moving.

And these are not people wanting something from you or letting you down or putting you down.
Hope you get some new friends out of this.


sally in norfolk said...

I used to feel very alone then i found the net and never have to feel alone again... :-)

Ellee said...

And through the net, Sally met her new love, my friend Geoff. And I have made lots of friends through blogging, I regard them as friends, even though we have never met.

Regarding Ruthie, I find you have to make your own happiness in life, if doesn't often come knocking on your door.

james higham said...

Thank you Sally and you're right - the net helps. Ellee, thanks to and I'm of your point of view, as you know. However, the young are sometimes a bit more vulnerable than the 'youngish' like you and the fuddy duddies like me.

sally in norfolk said...

yes Ellee, I sure did find the love of my life :-)and some great new friends. I also agree with what you say you have to work hard at making friends they never come knocking on your door....

Ruthie said...

Thanks James! What a sweetheart...

I was frustrated on Monday (my birthday) because I'm so isolated on campus; being a working mom means I have very little in common with my classmates and so I haven't gotten to know any more than a handful of them in a year and a half.

You're right, the blogosphere can be incredibly fulfilling when it comes to forging friendships. When God closes a door He opens a window.

Tea & Margaritas in My Garden said...

Just went and visited Ruthie James :)
Havn`t been on my computer till now so it`s a bit late.


james higham said...

Thanks, T&M, thanks ladies above and thanks Tom and Lord Nazh [the boys so far]. It did the trick, I think. Isn't the blogosphere powerful?