Wednesday, February 21, 2007

[geography of a woman] don't believe it

Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful, with vegetation around the fertile deltas.

Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade, especially for those with cash or cars.

Between the ages of 30 - 35, she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.

Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.

Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas, no future.

After 70, a woman is like Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is but no one wants to go there.


Welshcakes Limoncello said...

You're a brave man, James! Made me smile.

Fabian Tassano said...

Very witty - your own creation? I think I prefer India/Spain; the combination of confidence and relaxation is a big aphrodisiac.

Matt said...

I don't believe it. Between 18-21 they're like the Amazon River Basin in Ecuador, Peru, and Brazil or Africa, not Australia! The rest of it is too damn funny!

Matt said...

Like the Amazon in those countries, she is half discovered, wild (not half wild) and naturally beautiful, with vegitation around the fertile deltas. In short, not too different from what you wrote, James.

james higham said...

Welshcakes, thank you. Fabian - no, it's not mine but I did write a similar thing once. Matt - thanks for the explanation.

I deleted three comments. Firstly, mine because there was a glaring spelling error and that must never be on this blog.

Then I made a political decision to go against my libertarian principles and delete two morons' comments on the grounds that they were directed straight at me, using language about my own mother, without any attempt to provide an argument.

Plus they were made-up names with no link. In other words, gutless. At least people like Bob Piper and Cllr Kelly can be traced and stand by their weird convictions.

The comments don't worry me any, as she was a pretty tough lady beneath her charm and it was just to provoke. I get that sort of cr-p every day over here.

Liz said...

James, I object!

No way am I Russia or Canada. I'm definitely more France or Argentina!

Ellee said...

I've seen something like this before, a woman has a different beauty for each stage of her life. I'm wondering if there is a male version of this.