Postprandial musings on troosers

Just been out and about, ran straight into lurking Plod [otherwise known as our fine men and women of the constabulary], sans mask, no one said anything, we just exchanged nods.  I'm not quite sure what it's all about and didn't ask - better to be uncurious.

So, cooking up the comestibles and thinking ahead to this evening - there are two radio plays.  One's a thriller with many bodies and the other is a country estate thingy with people being nasty to one another in the most genteel language - that seems a Sunday morning or early afternoon fed and watered thing.  [Not even sure if we can have genteel language - is it not more mannerly?  No matter.]

Thoughts turned to dress in the light of haiku and Woodsy's contributions and how we change as time goes by.  Long ago, in the metropolis, I pretty much had to wear suits and so had a couple tailored, tying bowies around the neck in sheer affectation, along with puffing on the de rigeur Peterson. But in retirement, out in the sticks, all that is a bit ridiculous and so dress changed.

The critical item for me is trousers.  Given that town shoes are always leather Oxford style and polo tees take care of themselves, given that polo tees and long shorts also take care of pootling about home at my age and home shoes are boat shoes, that leaves the troosers, mun.

First principle, starting at the waist is it needs to be gathered in to cunningly disguise that paunch - though the troosers are the same cut for semi-formal and casual, the cloth is different and in the former, it has a one and a quarter inch leather belt, in the latter a drawstring.

It must slightly bag outwards below the waist but not chino style - down to the knees, I like the pictured casual trousers, colour too.  My thighs are a bit thick for straight cut and as for tapered - wot, am I a stick insect?

It gets trickier below the knee.  You see, my calves, from that gym work, are a bit thick and yet these trousers pictured, the cloth balloons too much for mine.  Yet skinny looks awful - therefore it is this part which is critical per moi.

Finally, we come to the critical hems. You can keep your biafran waif hems, also your Oxford bags, also your straight cuts.  They must never be half-masted but at the same time, never sad-sack droopy.  My tailor was a pain - he insisted the hems only just touched the leather but I like them slightly 'sitting' and folding in casual, less so in semi-formal.  Reason is that I'm about the height of the chap in the picture and we can't afford to make the hem to crotch too short.  I do my own hemming. And I like proper side pockets, not jeans pockets, though a long fob is nice.

That's my tail of troosers - what's yours?  And girls, your thoughts too please.