This is an excerpt from a 1990s article by Natalya Predtechenskaya, for Russian readers:
“The Times” is read by the people who run the country;
“The Mirror” is read by the people who think they run the country;
“The Guardian” is read by the people who think about running the country;
“The Mail” is read by wives of the people who run the country;
“The Daily Telegraph” is read by the people who think the country ought to be run as it used to be;
“The Express” is read by the people who think it is still run as it used to be;
“The Sun” is read by the people who don’t care who runs the country, as long as the naked girl on page three has big breasts.
… It has a nickname – “The Torygraph” after the nickname “Tory” of the Conservative Party. This newspaper has rather a comprehensive news and sports coverage. Some say it has a more objective reporting of what is going on in the world than any other quality newspaper …
… Some British people say that the reporting of “The Guardian” is biased and trendy, concentrating mostly on things like fashions, homosexuals, etc., but still it is enjoyed by its readers ...
… The populars as a rule, however, express no news. There you will find leading articles about murders, games, bingo and lotteries. Because they are in constant competition with each other, they actually all have nude girls in unconventional poses on page three or seven, devote much room to advertising holidays, vacation tours, etc.
I wonder how true all of this is today.
The truth is that nothing has changed and the Russians have got it spot on.
ReplyDeleteThe Times is read by people who used to run the country
ReplyDeleteThe Mirror is read by people who want to play bingo instead of running the country
The Guardian is read by people who think they may like to run the country if it wasn’t for the state the country is in
The Mail is read by the partners of the people who used to run the country
The Daily Telegraph is read by the WAGS who don’t care about the country as long as their credit cards hold out
The Express is read by people who are depressed and wish the country would go away and leave them in peace
The Sun is read by people who still like women with big breasts but are also interested in bingo and celebs in trouble
The one thing all newspapers have in common is that if you removed the name from them it would be difficult to tell them apart any more.
I think this is close to the original I saw years ago:
ReplyDeleteThe Times: Read by the people who run the country.
Daily Mirror: Read by the people who think they run the country.
Guardian: Read by the people who think they ought to run the country.
Morning Star: Read by the people who think the country ought to be run by another country.
Daily Mail: Read by the wives of the people who own the country.
Financial Times: Read by the people who own the country.
Daily Express: Read by the people who think that the country ought to be run as it used to be.
Daily Telegraph: Read by the people who think it still is.
The Sun: Their readers don't care who runs the country as long as she has big tits.
I think I first heard it on a Dave Allen show... or perhaps I'm dreaming. Nothing much has changed. To get a good view on the news I trawl the four qualities, althouhg I still have a long time preference for the Grauniad
ReplyDeleteYes Minister had a variant.
ReplyDelete"The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers."
ReplyDelete-Thomas Jefferson
"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed."
-Mark Twain
I come here for my news.
ReplyDeleteI like the lists, Angus and Sackers.
ReplyDeleteJHL - perhaps.
Jams and Dearieme - yes, they did it.
Bob - good, I'll steal those quotes.
Uber - hey!