Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Bonfire Live Blogging

20:59 – Everyone votes it was good fun and we all retire to the living room to watch V for Vendetta. Thanks for joining Bonfire Night Live Blogging.

20:56 – Each one is lit simultaneously by one person but two seem to be slewing so it’s behind the garage and into the kitchen again. Something hits the window and explodes into colour [have to stop drinking this green tea] I think one hit the garage wall but the rest went where they were supposed to. Luvverly colours.

20:54 – Everyone feels we’d better be a bit more careful with the rockets next time and we check that everything seems in order. We decide to let them all off at one time, plus the last Roman Candle. Seems a good plan. All gathered outside for the Big Bang, except for the dog and the toddler who are in the house with mum.

20:50 – Something wrong with one of the rockets stuck too hard. Father grabs toddler and runs behind garage, kids too, dog follows them, everyone else belts into the kitchen and closes door, pretty tight in there, rocket slews sideways, shoots across neighbour’s fence, and the next and the next and explodes in brilliant colours near the end of the street which the first kids have just reached in time to watch. Beautiful trajectory.

– Second and third rockets go up, two Roman Candles fizz away, kids love it, toddler’s playing with the remaining sticks, tea just about running out, trick or treat sweets now gone, not many sparklers left.

20:37 – First rocket lit, fizzes, shoots sky high and explodes in luvverly colours. Kids stop chasing dog for one moment. Tea drinkers approve. Toddler’s playing with the sticks from late afternoon. Bigger kids grab sticks and start sword fighting. I comment that they remind me of the Knights of Malta. That’s ignored.

20:24 – Neighbours’ noise beginning to die down, thank heavens and our turn to start. Decide to say nothing more about Malta. Dog scampering round looking for scraps, kids chasing dog, about half a box of sparklers left. Rockets ready? Check. Catherine wheels ready? Check. Roman Candles ready? Check. Last guests brought matches. Well, someone smokes at least.

20.12 – Everything’s just about ready for the Big Bang so I tell people about the fireworks factory of Santa Marija of Mqabba, well known in Malta for its beautiful fireworks displays, winning a competition in Rome, Caput Lucis. My mate’s mate asks me where I’d like the Catherine wheel inserted then gets back to his tea. Someone is watching Celtic v Man U upstairs. Seems Celtic scored.

19:53 – Last guests arrive and hallelujah – they bring some Catherine wheels and two rockets. Also a few bangers to use on the neighbours later. I tell the assembled crew that Catherine wheels are called "Irdieden" in Malta. Everyone just stares at me, wondering about my accent and someone puts the kettle on.

19:32 – Still waiting for the last guests to arrive, kitchen rocking, everyone high on green tea and sweets left over from trick or treat, kids all have sparklers and are running around the back yard like headless chickens. Noise in the neighbours’ gardens getting beyond a joke.

19:18 - Couple from the cul-de-sac at the end arrive with their kids. Kitchen getting pretty full by now. Cups of tea all round while a few of the lads go out back and stick more rockets in the ground. Kids have brought a boxload of bloody sparklers and want to light them. No one has matches and we're on electricity. No one smokes.

- First neighbours from four doors down arrive with lots of sparklers, a couple of bottles of coke but not much else. We make cups of tea and small talk all round. Someone complains about the bloody fireworks going off everywhere in the neighbourhood. Can't hear ourselves think.

17:54 - Stuck the rocket sticks in lines in the lawn in the back yard, plus the Roman candles. Hoping the guests will bring some fireworks themselves. Fireworks starting to go off in neighbours' yards before we get going.

17:21 - Built a fire in the back yard and decided to chance it. Not a big fire but a few sticks from the garage and a bit of kindling. Dog was so excited it charged through the middle of it, knocking the sticks everywhere. Gave up on the bonfire and decided to do the fireworks only. Couple of beers and phone calls later, the guests had been rounded up by phone and should be arriving soon.

16:15 - Council, fire department or whoever came and knocked it down while we were having a beer at the Park Hotel. Seems it was a designated site of something or other. How were we to know?

14:09 - Decided to shoot the Council but drove round instead and found another spot in the forest and it seems some other people who'd had their bonfire knocked down were also pretty p---ed off so we decided to join forces and build a humungous fire. Took two hours.

The story so far
- Found a vacant place to build the bonfire this morning; it took an hour and a half and then we broke for lunch. Council came, fire department or whatever and knocked it down. Not to worry.


  1. :) Well, it's raining here and I am glad. It meant the neighbours did not do a huge and noisy fireworks display all night for a change.

    We have bonfires here quite a bit.
    But probably never 'on the day'.

  2. Update comment:

    This was THE funniest thing I have EVER read on the net!!!! Your humour is such a delightful surprise when it is unleashed.I laughed all the way through updates . It takes a lot for me to laugh out loud.

    Whether you being serious or this hilarious,your words are spellbinding.Truly.
    I am going to print this and the Obama post to keep in a scrapbook.
    Those 2 posts will also be going into my time capsule that I shall be leaving behind.

  3. Viking Radio had a BondFire theme night with music and interviews related to James Bond and the 007 films.

    Sorry James, you lost out on this one...


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