Friday, April 04, 2008

[making eyes] to look or not to look, that is ...

Was having a little "discussion" with a sweet girl this morning [hesitate to call it an "argument'] and she was saying how she hated how men always make eyes, the arrogant bstds [last three words my addition].

I countered by saying that that was rich and recounted an incident three evenings ago when I was in the cafe and a guy and his girl came in. She positioned herself where she could check out the cafe and while he was forking some spaghetti into his mouth, the first cross-room shot was fired.

I naturally returned it and it might have continued except that that chap could have been me, poor sod.

My fellow discussee pointed out that this made me as bad as all the others, at which point I said hmmm, well I don't look at them - they look at me.

She asked how I knew they were looking at me if I hadn't been looking to see if they were looking at me? And why would they be looking at me anyway? I replied that it might be my white scarf and balding pate.

At that point, fortuitously, the car arrived and I got away.

On reflection in the car, I was sure I didn't make eyes at girls but definitely know when they look at me, at which point I usually look back. How would I know? Well it's easy to see movement through 180 degrees or more - surely you can do that too? So a face turned towards you would be obvious, even if you weren't looking.

No matter.

I decided this evening to put it to some controlled tests, involving walking to the Pyramid and trying various moves along the way.

1. First was to see how it normally worked and I was going to scrutinize and analyse everything. The controlling premise was that it had to be a girl with a bf.

All right, along came the first and an interesting thing happened.


At about ten metres, he was oblivious but she had already seen what was coming. It might have been my white scarf, it might have been my balding pate. Either way, within two metres, all three making moves to step aside to pass, he, being closest to me and taller, never got to see what she was doing.

She initially dropped the chin and eyes but then, at one metre, the look was shot across, her face half hidden by the bf's arm. I suddenly looked and she looked away quickly but as we passed, the 2nd look came from the side.

He was still oblivious to the whole thing.

2. This time I showed absolutely no interest [but don't forget the 180 degree vision]. I stared straight ahead and let them pass and there was the dropped head half hidden behind the bf and one quick look but then she ceased looking.

3. The third was a slap in the face for me as she showed not the least interest and resolutely looked ahead, gripping the bf's arm.

4. The fourth was like the first except that, instead of returning her look, I let a slight grin play on my lips. She didn't give me a second look.

5. The fifth was more dangerous as I telegraphed the move early and glanced in full view of the bf. He began his predictable body language, she dropped her head and then shot the look but he looked at her and she covered it well. Phew. Then again, he'd clearly summed up that the opposition wasn't much and didn't bother with me as we passed.

6. The sixth was at the traffic lights - they were across the road. I didn't look once. She looked the whole time, even as we passed. It might have been my white pate or balding scarf.

7. I never tried where I'd make eyes at her [wanting to keep the high moral ground with my afrementioned discussee] but I surmise the gf would have looked straight ahead and ignored this sleazy jerk.

So what did it prove?

That everyone at least notices what goes on around, that the second or continued look is really the only one you could take issue with, that you get more looks if you don't seem to look and maybe that men should be more aware of their gf's relative position next time they go for a walk with her.

Also - never make eyes at a girl with a large bf.

17 comments:

  1. Very interesting, James.
    Body lanaguage research indicates that a woman bows her head like that to be subservient to men for it is what men expect. Only an interested woman will look away and then look again!

    I love to people watch. Next time watch their shoes...shoes and gait says everything about a person. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. A woman walks down the street towards you.

    Does she get upset because you do look or because you do not?

    ReplyDelete
  3. How does a man - or a woman - make eyes? I have no idea what that means. Or how to interpret 'a look'. I'm also usually not entirely sure if someone is flirting or just talking. I am really quite naive.

    I mean I just look at people when i'm out. I'm not signalling anything that i'm aware of. I'm just nosey.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Body language is a wonderful thing :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. CU is right, what's wrong with admiring glances, as long as they are respectful and not lecherous.Is that what you were doing?

    ReplyDelete
  6. You do scientific TESTS on this stuff??! Blimey, James...

    ReplyDelete
  7. For a woman not to appear too bold to a man(challenge his strength) she must look the the right and down, which comes naturally to a woman if a man looks at her head on.
    If she is interested, she will then 'peep' back up at him before looking away again.At thsi point, the man will talk to her, so she can look at him again.
    If she is not interested in him she will not do the peep , but continue to look away until he has looked away, signalling that he has got her 'bugger off' signal.
    Men audition for women,and women signal when they may move along the required stages .

    ReplyDelete
  8. So quite simply, the girls who looked at you were interested.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Thank you boys and girls. CUS - straight to the heart of it as ususal. Uber - you have it down pat, I see.

    Inanswer - I think it's because as a foreigner, dressed like that, I look unusual. One girl said that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well I've always said your foreign quotient was off the chart James.
    I thought women were into checking out men's butts these days.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Difference between looking and good old fashioned perving, why would one perve on another man or woman if with them? And same, why engage in 'perving' if you know they are with another, am sure some who do this wouldn't like it too much if their partner was 'perving' so to speak. Note I said 'perving' not just having an odd glance.

    ReplyDelete
  12. sometimes an admiring glance can be just what is needed to lift the spirits on a day that is going completely horribly wrong.
    I love the whole making eyes thing and the thoughts that it leads to....all very mysterious the eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I agree with Kate there, a small glance can lift the spirits and bring a smile to your face!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm not sure.
    If a woman returns my look, I mark her down as probably a little too strident and self confident for my liking.

    If she looks down, blushes and smiles, but is clearly embarrassed THEN, I know I'm on to something good.

    Both are interested, but you want to stay clear of the first type.

    ReplyDelete

Comments need a moniker of your choosing before or after ... no moniker, not posted, sorry.