Monday, April 07, 2008

[feministi] fisking the fiskers

Wonderful fisking, over at Kelly Mac's place, of a Feministi trying to fisk the anti-Feministi, e.g.

Feministi: Sadly one of the fundamental beliefs of bachelorism is that women are to blame for divorce. I disagree.

Kelly Mac: You can disagree all you want. Women instigate the majority of divorces. Numbers don’t lie.


Heaps more over there.

14 comments:

  1. "You can disagree all you want. Women instigate the majority of divorces. Numbers don’t lie."

    That makes me laugh as much as feminists do. And the point of that statement? Takes two to tango and am finding it amusing both sides blame the other for the divorce rates, there has to be a reason to get a divorce and not all are underhand reasons by women, men have a part to play in it all as well. You can't live with them and you sure as hell can't live without them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think if more women start divorce proceedings its probably because of greed. Men are more likely to lose out finacialy than the woman. Unfortunately people put money before integrity.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I don't see why women have to be labelled as feminists because they want to leave an unhappy marriage.
    I personally think people give up too easily on marriage, that they had unrealistic expectations, that they should think of their partners' needs as well as their own and communicate more. They should behave more grown up and less selfishly, especially when children are involved.
    What's this thing you've got about feminism at the moment?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am in the process of being divorced - it is a relief to both of us I think... I would ask the question 'where does divorce start'?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Can't disagree with any of what I see here.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My X has been married to three different women. They all chose to instigate a divorce, so maybe the numbers are a little skewed by a few men or women who marry and divorce more often than others.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah, I never said anything earlier but I suspect many of those needed to be divorced. On the other hand, there are a lot of gold diggers who'd do it "in the interests of the children".

    ReplyDelete
  8. The numbers don't lie. No? Well in this article which states that 3/4 of all divorces are instigated by women they also state the following:

    (these women say) that infidelity is the main cause, cited by 44 per cent of women, followed by abuse (40 per cent), boredom (29 per cent) and a lack of sex (22 per cent)

    Well unfortunately that adds up to 135% so one does begin to suspect the figures in this article at least.

    Now do you expect 44% of those women to turn a blind eye to the infidelity and 40% to accept the abuse? Just asking!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The financial incentive is there for women (at least in the U.S.).
    Your grounds for divorce can simply be "I'm unhappy" and you get a load of money.
    From comments:
    "I want to add something to your comment that women initiate the majority of divorces. This is true enough but equally important is the ‘reason’ these divorces are initiated. The significant majority of the divorces were NOT initiated because the man was a drunk, or he beat his wife, or he couldn’t hold a job, or he was unfaithful. It turns out that the significant majority of the divorces were initiated because the woman was… unhappy."

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't know where they actually get the numbers for this stuff because it doesn't all go into the court records.

    My divorce was because he...drank and beat his wife... I didn't ask for or get anything in the divorce except my daughter because I was afraid to.

    Oh wait now that I think about it, I guess you could say I left because I was unhappy ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was unhappy as well. Oh wait. According to some people I should have stayed being unhappy for some weird moral reason I don't grasp...

    ReplyDelete
  12. And why might that be, I wonder? Throughout history, womwn have been supposed to put up with their husbands' infidelities and shut up. Men are more fickle than women, James, because they can just get away with more biologically! [They are more fickle in lots of other ways, too.]

    ReplyDelete
  13. You're not going to always "be happy". If you go looking for that, you will be forever disappointed. Marriage is about give and take, and hanging in there when it gets tough, and trying to work things out.

    If both partners aren't trying, then of course it can't work. But with the message we're given as women (we're entitled to unending happiness), the idea of trying to make it work when we're unhappy doesn't even occur to many of us.

    Thank you, feminism.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thank you for those thoughts. I think you know which way I lean here.

    ReplyDelete

Comments need a moniker of your choosing before or after ... no moniker, not posted, sorry.