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For a long time, Calum has been crying out for help with the heartless, monolithic monstrosity, the NHS, which is blighting his wife's life. It has to start somewhere, in a small way, so why not with Calum? When Debacle returns I'll put her link up as well.I urge you to help if you can - you don't need to be British.

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Friday, November 14, 2008

[sigh] forced to re-open it under duress

Readers will recall that I have said, over the past few days, things along the lines of:

The matter is now closed. The blogosphere has written today and the message I'm getting is, "Don't do it. Enough." Nobody wants this war. These are sympathetic people writing and that's what they say.

This has effectively meant that you couldn't access these posts listed below from my front page unless you made two clicks from another site. That, to all intents and purposes, meant that I had withdrawn from this battle, for reasons stated.

However, this man I call my stalker, for reasons you are witnessing at this moment, has decided not to cease the harrassment [see the comments thread here] and so my legal advice is that I should bring the posts back to the front page.

I'm sure my readers and those of the blogosphere in general will welcome this with open arms.

Not.

Here is my deal, Crushed. When you agree to stop harrassing me, I shall withdraw all posts and references in their entirety. You agree to that?


UPDATE: All right, I have a break between commitments today and am going to put this up on the current post.

Damien has seen fit to selectively choose emails to post on his site which were actually initially friendly, as you can see and I’m glad he posted them. The point I made and let me quote myself was:

I want to somehow find some way back with us, even after it all. Bad relations is only destructive.

Let’s face it, the most that anyone can hope for from this thing is that people will see what he is like. That cuts both ways and that is fine by me. This I have said a few times today.

Now I’m not going to manage to get him excluded from BP and nor is anyone going to come in on this. The target audience for these posts was not the subject of them nor his close supporters, to whom nothing whatever which I say is going to be accepted.

If you’re interested in this matter, you need to look at the chronology. Regular readers know that when I departed Russia, I was under great duress, especially financially and still I am under the hammer now.

At the point the initial email was sent, I was three days away from coming back to Britain and I wanted to know if there was any possibility of some sort of middle ground we could find, as the alternative would be so destructive.

He had already threatened me and tried to bully me in Sicily and my blog was shut down for a few days. Nice man, eh? Despite that, I tried to hold out an olive branch on August 20th and find a mature solution to the problem.

Bit by bit he showed that he was not interested in that in any shape or form. I came back to Britain, Ubermouth and I talked and then she sent some material which comprised his words and removed any doubt that what she said was correct. In this whole matter, I can state categorically that she has never lied to me and has not lied in what she said around the blogosphere, however much the forces against her might like to assume that.

I have looked at all he said and all she said and the only conclusion a fair and rational person could come to is that it was never as he said.

In putting up the series of posts on Saturday, it was time to end his constant harassment of me over the past few months. I use the word stalker and this is what I mean – he watches my blog like a hawk, he seems to know what my emails say [though I don’t insist on this, as I told him] and he just won’t go away. I wish he'd get a life.

The last straw in his attempt to provoke me was a very childish post which was pointed to in the Damien posts. That required an answer. I answered it on Saturday. He was at liberty to post his reply and he has done so – over and ove, ad nauseam.

As far as I’m concerned, fair enough. I’m not concerned with defending my reputation – it will stand or fall by the long term knowledge people have of me. My blog is some testament to it.

Now I put to him a deal this morning. You can see the deal above. The blogosphere is not interested in this matter and have asked that the destruction stop. So let’s stop it.

All right?

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Thoughts on "[sigh] forced to re-open it under duress"

 

Blogger CalumCarr says ... (15 November 2008 01:43) : 

James

I think it was unrealistic to expect Crushed to stop just because you said you were stopping and because others said you should do so too.I say this not just because he's Crushed.

I think it's normal for anyone to want to reply / rebut / re-anything your long series of posts. It may not be productive to do so but it's understandable.

If the roles were reversed in that Crushed had written a series of posts and had then offered to stop and asked you to stop too, I think you would have found it very difficult to do so.

I think you wuld have wanted to reply to Crushed before you stopped.

If you genuinely want to stop this and if Crushed does too then one of you has to accept that the other will have the last word.

Obviously Crushed has the option of stopping and not replying to this post. If he chooses to reply then you should be the one to put a stop to this. Be magnanamous: let Crushed have the last word.

if Crushed chooses not to reply, then good on him.

All that remains then is for the two of you to continue with the silence.

 

Blogger James Higham says ... (15 November 2008 10:46) : 

I'm glad you've raised that, Calum because in your opening words: "I think it was unrealistic to expect Crushed to stop" lies the whole problem.

He is an obsessive nutter who keeps hounding me. That is stalking, Calum and he's been doing it for a long time.

Read the tone of his posts on me, read mine in the past three days. Bit of a difference, wouldn't you say?

Fortunately I have been getting some sort of closure through emails to me from friends recognizing now how obsessive he is.

Now, I'm going to put it to the test. Next week I am going to support Ubermouth in a post she is writing if I agree with what she has written, one particular post, not on this site and I am not going to write any myself. That has been scheduled, apparently, for some time.

On my site, to all intents and purposes, I have now ceased. Now watch how magnanimous he will be. Watch and see if he writes anything else on me either directly or obliquely.

He was obsessed during the Christmas period last year, he didn't give a rat's a--e about my situation when I was in Sicily, except to say: "Now you're in the EU, I can get you."

Let's see how far he cares about fellow bloggers and how forgiving he can be now.

 

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