[wordless week] a solution to the seven days

There's always one Now be honest – aren’t we just that wee bit weary of all these Wordless Wednesdays and Snappy-happy Saturdays? Do you delight in being directed what to blog on, on which day and according to which theme? Do you yearn to blog alphabetically? Well, your humble correspondent might just have come up with the answer. Higham proposes that the week be surgically incised into seven equal portions and presented thussingly: Mammary Monday This day we all go out on the prowl for gratuitous totty and plaster our blogs with female flesh [or the ladies may indulge in the male of the species, should it be their wont]. Get the blood circulating early in the week. Twittery Tuesday “Made the Mall, met Maud and Mavis and lingered languorously over a long limpid lunch.” Makes for marvellous reading and should delight the blog community no end. So let’s all twitter on Tuesday and leave those pesky serious posts for later. Woebegone Wednesday Lest you feel this has all been too light-hearted, let’s sink into doom and gloom on Wednesday and post only about the latest deaths, famines, medical conditions and other inspiring fare. The aim is to leave every one of our readers in philosophical mood, still facing Thursday and Friday ahead. Thurtabulous Thursday Time to strangle our English and wax lyrical about the huge windfall we just came into or the tremendous travel we’ve just undertaken in a sunny paradise somewhere in the Mediterranean, whilst back home it’s still 10 degrees and drizzling. Sensitivity is the key here. Furry Friday This is where we festoon our blogs with furry creatures and loveable little moppets and write of how Woopsy did wee-wees and then mauled a weasel, in intricate detail recounting the usage of the pooper scooper and widdle sponge. A day for animal lovers and to post all those pics of your toddler in hilarious and endearing poses. Sonorous Saturday The trick here is to latch onto the latest Bete Noir, say Gordon or Robert, go on and on and on and on about his latest outrage, preferably lifting huge chunks from MSM articles, shoving them into interminable posts and adding the wry and witty analysis: “Isn’t he a bastard?” For piquancy, we could add variations on the words Guardian, Gordo or Dubya. Serene Sunday This is the day of rest, the day we give the alliterated weekdays the shove and simply blog on something intelligent. Well OK – not all that inspiring, I admit. Or else we can go for a drive into the countryside. Anyway, all in all, it should be a winner, don’t you think?