Saturday, March 29, 2008

[dreams] the waxing and the waning

While researching this post, I found an interesting piece on kid's dreams and nightmares. Can't say I was ever prone to them and even as an adult, have missed out on the pleasure of the erotic dream.

There were one or two times in childhood where a dream occurred and it was always the same - someone was after me, chasing me, bunch of thugs I'd provoked and at the end of the dirt track, near the cliff, was a huge pile of spaghetti and I was always able to hide under there. Always thought my pursuers were so stupid not to look under the spaghetti.

There is one recurring adult dream, not particularly traumatic and it's a bit like this:

I'm in the clouds [always cumulus for some reason - golden in the sunlight] and things are pretty good, when from the left front [45 degrees] appears a woman [I think a young woman but that's not clear].

She has not particularly shiny golden hair and robes of white which are also not crystal clear. The thing is that I must be looking ahead or whatever.

I don't notice her hands and feet, just the heart-shape of her face and she's neither pretty nor not, neither tall nor small. I look across and smile and she returns the smile. She stretches out one hand towards me [let me try to remember which - I think it must be the right because it is closest to me] and now I look more closely and she becomes clearer and is very sweet and fair.

Before I know what I'm doing [and I know from experience not to] I reach out what must be my left hand and as that happens, as my body turns towards her, she starts to fade backwards [neither down nor up and not particularly gliding]. I almost reach her hand but then she recedes into the cloud and is gone.

I turn back to where I was going and continue on through the sunlit cloud. It never happens at night, this dream - only through the day.

The dream came back today.

I was chatting with an overseas friend this morning and it was nice and then she was gone. So I looked at the dialogue window, typed a couple more things and then just went on composing the last post below this.

The last few weeks were like this too. When we got to the point of some sort of joy or solace, for some reason she faded away and is now like a wraith that occasionally answers an e-mail. She visits, I know but I don't know for how much longer.

My ex-love faded away this way some years back but now, as if orbits are once again coinciding, it's waxing again and the other evening was close once more. I'm expecting it to fade again as usual but will have to wait and see.

The puzzle for me is not how it gets off the ground nor why it continues but why it fades. If you like something, it doesn't fade and if you don't, then why did you remain so long? Better touch wood but it seems that I'll continue on through the day and night and people will come, people will fade.

Do you dream?


Nunyaa said...

We all dream at some stage, whether it be in our sleep or whilst awake. Some dreams are more real than others.

sally in norfolk said...

I used to dream all the time and not nice dreams... usually when I am upset about something... glad to say these days if i dream they are always nice dreams

ScotsToryB said...


I read your post earlier today and thought to reply but thought you were being serious so did not.

Regardless: your early dreams of hiding underneath spaghetti obviously show that you were being, even then, protected by the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Pasta be with you, my son.

Alternatively, your contemporaneous
'sightings' suggest a wish, nay need, to be with a woman.

Secondly, as was said to me just last week 'If there is one thing I have learned about you, and it is not just me saying this, you need a good woman'.


Bretwalda Edwin-Higham said...

Thanks Nunyaa and Sally.

STB - yes, that's so but they don't exist in free space. So we continue on through the night.

CherryPie said...

Yes I dream lots, usually nice. But very occasionaly unpleasant ones and these don't feel like dreams at all, they feel real!

Lately I have been rushing round so much I am too tired to remember them.

oestrebunny said...

Oh! I missed this post earlier!

I dream a lot, and I usually remember them. I have a lot of recurring dreams, more nightmares in fact. I've been having the same ones for years and they still scare yet.

jmb said...

Oh I'm a nightmare sufferer although not so much now as I used to. As a child it was horrible.

It always seems to involve lots of blood and knives. My subconscious is something else.

It's a mystery, the fading or not.

Welshcakes Limoncello said...

Yes, I dream a lot. One that recurs is I am on a train and I know I am going to our old house in Pinner. Everything is OK but I never actually get to the house. I think it means that I am looking for safety. And I dream of the things I fear, of course - like losing Simi. Then it's such a relief to wake up and find her curled up beside me!
I sometimes dream of that elusive creature, a reliable man.
Can't explain the "fading" mystery.

This comment has been removed by the author.

That's ME in your dreams. I don't fade- your eyes sometimes get misty and you can no longer see me, but I am always here for someone so special as you.

Semaj Mahgih said...

Uh huh :)