Yvette Carte-Blanche negotiates the price with BeiggelsSquadron-Leader Sir James Beiggelschwarz of Straf-Jerry was born in May,
Flying the Sopwith Camel, he distinguished himself as a right nutter, including tap dancing stunts on his right wing in top hat and accordingly was awarded the DSO and MC which prolonged the period before his demise as the latter gong may not be awarded posthumously.
Speaking fluent French and German, he fell in love with the femme fatale Marie Janis, later infiltrating the former SU to rescue her, speaking fluent Russian and Ukrainian, discovering she had expired in the year 1962, it transpiring that she had written a scathing series of stories about his alleged affairs with his cousin Algy and Ginger Rogers - these allegations being substantially untrue.
Beiggles in prattier days
Affaires were the stuff of life to Beiggels, working his way through a string of fictional lovers, the majority female, including the eccentric French Resistance deserter Yvette Carte-Blanche, who caused severe bruising to his cheeks owing to her idiosyncratic lovemaking positions.
Thereafter accused of a "plummy", autocratic manner of speaking, he never had the heart to set the record straight and "did a Coleridge", running off to join the maqui-de-sards but took the wrong turn and instead found himself highly placed, within two months, in the milice, revelling in the sobriquet Haut Milicard, to the bemusement of his fellow nazis.
Largely through the efforts of Jean Moulin, who went on to coordinate the CNR, he was spirited out of France but not before an affaire with the grocer's daughter Margarita Hilde de Chaumiste who spoke fluent English and later anglicized her name around the time of the Guerre des Malvinas.
As she walked away from him following a flare up over yet another rendezvous with Algy and Ginger, she was reputed to have snapped, over her shoulder: "The lady's not for turning," a strangely pointless utterance and one which had been rehearsed for some weeks.
His rejoinder: "If it's good enough for Kim and Guy, it's good enough for me," simply confused the plot and brought this short Wiki bio to an abrupt end.
Resistance leader Margarita Hilde de Chaumiste in later years
I used to like Biggles as a kid.
ReplyDeleteI know he is much mocked these days, but they were good stories.
I was a big fan too. I spent a good deal of time in hospital after a burn when I was around 6 and 7. I can remember Captain W E Johns being one of the authors that I read.
ReplyDeleteThe joke from around then about the Biggles books. Biggles Flies East, Biggles Fles West, Biggles Flies Undone.. Uproarious laughter (i think that you have to be six to appreciate that one).
Glad you have another noteable name makeover. All these interesting and somewhat glamorous personnas in one blog. It is a bit intimidating at times.
Great post. You always think of such interesting posts.:)
ReplyDeleteYes, Crushed - with you there ... the dastardly von Stalhein and so on. Biggles in Borneo was my favourite.
ReplyDeleteColin - one has to be six? Oh, I don't know.
Uber - just trying to please you.
Oh, dear old Biggles... Great post.
ReplyDelete