[blogfocus saturday] telling it as it is

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1. The capital letter loving Clare strikes a blow for all menopausal women:

Q: How many women going through the MENOPAUSE (or PMS) does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out (as long as the TV and beer fridge still worked). And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the stupid light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 4 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!

2. A most unusual student also tells it as it is:

After calling around the agencies to sign up (they'll contact me if there are any jobs), I headed down to Ludlow College. Today was the results for GCSE (General Certificate of Secondary Education) students across the land, and it's all over the news. For the last year, down at Ludlow College, I've been doing an evening class to improve my CV. I've got my MCSE (Monkey Certificate of Secondary Education) qualifications under my belt (or rather my rosette, as monkeys don't wear belts!) already, but I've been studying for a GCSE in the Alutiiq language.

3. BobG tells it how it is on gun control:

The same goes for the Brady Campaign; they make more money by demonizing inanimate objects than pushing for better criminal control. Most firearms used in crimes are not bought from licensed dealers or gun shows; they are stolen or bought from other criminals, something which has been known to the law enforcement community for years. Of course, we can't be distracted by the facts, can we? I think I need another cup of coffee...

4. Omnium tells it how it is on the topic of sheer boredom:

In today’s Turkish Daily News (TDN) one could find an article about Hamam owners claiming that the baths and saunas in 5-star hotels do not reflect Turkish culture are going to start a campaign to promote the traditional Turkish Hamam.

That’s it.

Today’s most important story . . . for hamam owners.

And for most readers: A banal story.

So how to attract reader’s interest?

A kingdom for a headline!

5. I can't give you an abridged version of Kareno's miracle but it's amazing and you should read it. She tells it as it is and even includes a picture:

The principal asked me in a stern voice if I have insurance and the secretary kept patting my back. I was crying as if it's the end of the world or worse and only managed a nod. The caretaker got into my car and drove forward a bit, away from the pole. And that's when it happened dot dot dot

6. Martin Kelly has surprisingly sided with Neil Clark, thereby incurring the wrath of the blogosphere and here he tells it as it is:

In certainly one of the more creative if bizarre slurs I've ever been on the end of, it's been suggested that if I were an American colonist in 1776 I'd have supported slavery. But the piece de resistance must be the argument of one Conor Foley that those who hold my view are potentially liable to prosecution for war crimes. Time out, I think. There is, of course, a Third Way out of this situation - one I put forward while being accused of supporting kidnapping for ransom.

7. Shirl of Bristol tells it as it is about her bump on the head:

Heartache is that news of a bang on the forehead, a dent not a bump, is not the best way to say, "I've been feeling better lately, finding that the quiet of my days away from the computer and all things netterly, have really done me some good". If I had posted this yesterday (as said to Liz), I would have been without the new facial feature. Hope is (without jest) that I'll soon be in fine fettle again.

8. The Reactionary Snob sees some logical snags in the tagging of schoolkids and tells it as it is:

Secondly, one would presume that if the little angels realised there was a tracking device in their blazer they would just leave their blazer in the locker, or cut the tracking device out? Or, no doubt, some young Alan Sugar would make a fortune out of carrying a number of other pupils blazers in his bag as he sat in the classroom and they skive off...

At some stage there needs to be a Kizzie feature on her Darfur diaries. the only question is when.

Hope to see you Wednesday evening. Cheers.