Sunday, November 26, 2006

[worst movie ever] 1st nomination – manos

Accepting nominations now for the worst movie of all time but there must be one or two rules:

1] it must have been made for cinematic release, not as a garage movie;
2] they can’t have set out to make a bad movie. This last criterion would seem to put out Attack of the Killer Tomatoes which was intended as trash but ended up being quite a cult flick;
3] you must include a blurb and link;
4] pic would help

Manos – Hands of Fate; Also Known As: The Lodge of Sins; Runtime: 74 min; Country: USA; Unrated; Language: English; Color: Color (Eastmancolor); Publisher: Rhino/Best Brains Inc; Directed by: Hal Warren; Cast: Joel Hodgson, Kevin Murphy, Trace Beaulieu; Wiki saying it was made for $19 000, as the result of a bet; Review below by Adam Weishaupt [itself an in-joke]:

A husband and wife, with child, take a drive through the countryside. They drive for at least 15 minutes of screen time, till they become lost and pull aside at a small rundown farm. There they meet Torgo, who happens to be the servant of The Master, the worshipper of Manos, an evil deity. They spend the night, but the master awakes, along with his harem of bitchy wives. Nothing happens for what seems like hours, till the master orders Torgo to kidnap the travelling couple.

Torgo disagrees, since he is in love with the woman. The Master makes his hand spontaneously combust in a very (un)convincing special effect. The couple with child then attempt to escape. Later, we cut to two women travelling through the countryside. They become lost and pull aside at The Master's residence, to discover the husband acting as the new Torgo, and the wife and child made a part of the master’s harem.

Nothing can compare to how much this film sucks. It simply is THE worst movie ever. I have never sat through a more unbearable 79 minutes (and that was the MST3K version). Do not see this movie, whatever you do. This is one of those rare films that should be destroyed.

Powerful support, putting Manos at the top of the list of one so far.


Tim Almond said...

Tom & Viv. Check it out. Or not, as the case may be.

james higham said...

Thanks Tim, have done and it goes on the list.

Gracchi said...

Not sure if this made it to the cinema but otherwise it surely would make the list. I ended up watching it whilst on holiday in Wales with a couple of mates and it was unintentionally funny because it was so bad.

Its called Arthur's Dyke. The imdb reference is here but unfortunately I don't think it qualifies because I suspect it was never released cinematically.

james higham said...

Great. Tiberius, I'll check it out tomorrow morning. It's 01:00 here just now.